I was reading the bible the other day when something I hadn’t seen before smacked me in the chops. Jesus was talking to his disciples about unforgiveness in Luke 17. Jesus told them that if a brother comes to you seven times in day and sins against then asks for forgiveness you should forgive him each time. The disciples were amazed by this because they asked for more faith. What Jesus says next always bothered me. He said that if you had faith as a mustard seed you would say to this mulberry tree be uprooted and be planted in the sea and it would obey you.  I had glossed over that many times.  This time however I read the bit about being a servant underneath and was even more perplexed.  Then it struck me.  Jesus is saying that faith (or an expressed belief) needs to be replaced by another expressed belief in order for the previous belief to be ‘removed and cast into the sea.  I would one belief dissolves the other and removes it’s potency because it stops the previous one from existing.   That is, you get rid of old beliefs by replacing them with new ones that are more powerful.

As you find ways to remove old beliefs about your life, circumstances and so on… it’s like the old beliefs were never there.  Indeed you can make yourself believe anything if you lie to yourself often enough can’t you?  You can change memories, change habits, change how you feel… by having your beliefs changed.  Yet the how is the part we want isn’t it?  How and/or can we change our beliefs?  What I think Jesus might have been saying was this: You can forgive if you believe you can because that belief will enable you to act.  Love is a powerful emotion… use it!  Use what you have and you might just be surprised at what follows.  

To all the lovers, brothers, mothers and ‘others’ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.  Now as a present to you I invite you to read this and have a good laugh at the pictures.  Whatever you do today or have done (if you live in Australia or New Zealand it’s night time!) do it with love in your heart.  And now for something smooshy:

Have a great valentines day.

Have you ever come home from work and the lights are off? Ever noticed how a friend, colleague or spouse has increased in negativity towards you? Here are seven signs of a failing relationship and steps you can take towards wholeness.

I got an email from Tristan at the synergy institute about the Think Different Challenge. A friend of his from I will change your life.com started the idea a few days ago. The rules of the challenge can be found here. In short I have to take something I feel negative about and change my [tag]thinking[/tag]. I picked a person who I think represents a problem I have with authority in my life. I am not overly rebellious neither am I difficult to get along with but I sometimes am very suspicious of people in authority over me. I don’t think one person stands out as being ‘Nazi boss from hell’ and I really think this is a bad [tag]belief system[/tag] that I am holding on to. So, I have decided to think differently about authority and learn to love my boss.

Our thoughts make up our being to a large extent. We are the sum total of what we spend our time thinking about. So, what do I think about authority? Here is a list.

1. I don’t like it

I hate people telling me what to do. Not a bad thing considering I have two failed attempts at business in the can. Yet this is a dominating thought pattern I need to overcome if I am to consider success.

2. I want freedom

Who doesn’t? In me is the inbuilt desire to want to do what I want and not be told by anyone what to do. A good belief to a point but I am employed and I need to respect the rules of that institution. After all they give me money!

3. A host of other reasons…

I think the majority of it can be explained by my heritage. My dad hates authority. There some excuses. Now for the real deal.  I am going to take this guys advice and avoid procrastination!

How do I change my perspective to allow me to have a better relationship with authority? I learn to love my boss. Firstly, what is it about my boss that I don’t like? Him or the position he holds. I thought he was a great bloke until he got the job. Now, I need to, in my mind, separate the position from the person and attempt to think in the same way they do. I start by surfacing my hidden assumptions about authority and deliberately challenging them. So here goes:

1. My boss rules me with an iron fist

Does he? How many times a day does he tell me what I can and can’t do? Only when he has to because he is being paid to. You would be surprised the amount of general and upper level managers are putting on the game face at work. I often talk to people in these positions and most of the time they are just doing what they think they should be in accordance with the wishes of management. They are playing a role and for this reason are under a lot of pressure. As a defense mechanism they are resorting to control because it’s there responsibility to. Is this personal… not likely so I can’t believe my boss is Hitler I have to move on.  This next one really stretches my comfort zone but here we go.

2. My boss is stealing away my freedom of expression

Really? Is your freedom of expression relevant to what you are being paid to do? Maybe you chose the wrong job and your boss isn’t the problem. My freedom of expression is only relevant to what my job is. If my job requires no freedom of expression then why should I be ‘free’ to use it? My perspective should be I am here to do the job I was paid to, not create a new job for which the boss isn’t paying me. I can do ‘me’ things when I have the ability to support myself. When I signed the contract that was it! I can bring my creative expression to my set tasks or make them better but this is not the place to get cute with creativity. I have a contractual obligation! Don’t burn out on it and quit your job because you will find the assumption following you to your next job if you do.

3. I have a problem with authority

Why? This is because in your brain you think authority is a bad thing. Authority is a good thing. Why? Imagine if your house caught fire and you wanted it put out but you needed to give permission to the fire brigade. Say you are being beaten and because there are no police officers you never get your case heard. What if the laws that are designed to protect your rights don’t work and your house is taken away. What then? What you are really saying is: I don’t want authority in my life I want it all my own way. Being under submission to other people is a good thing in the right circumstances. Remember, whatever you do that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

4. My boss never hears what I say

Really? Your boss never pays attention to you? That is a good thing! If your boss is watching you it’s because you are a problem. Managers only solve the problems they are engaged with. They delegate everything they can because it helps them in their jobs. Chances are your boss doesn’t want to hear what you have to say because you are not in his/her engagement space. People only ever solve the problems they have to because people perceive things to be problematic. That is, problems are perspectives.  A person in management is under pressure to make decisions, perform lots of boring routine tasks and make difficult and complex decisions.  Your issue is probably not as important as the one that they are currently engaged with.

These are the four key assumptions in my life that I challenged and you know what… I feel better already.   To do this for yourself find a negative thing you don’t like and write down the hidden assumptions it’s built on.  Then systematically challenge those negative assumptions by building positive alternatives.  Over time as you gently reinforce these positive assumptions they will come to replace the negative ones.  Tie your imagination to the process and see yourself being happy with the problem.  See yourself coping.

I hope you have enjoyed this article.  To learn more about the thinking differently challenge.  Click the link below.