Spirituality in the workplace is more than religion… it’s bringing your values to work

Recently there has been a growing concern about being “spiritual” at work.  It seems to me that a lot of this talk is about religious tolerance… and the irksome concern of making sure everybody stays happy.  What I have learned by applying spiritual principles to work is that often there is a box called, “my spirituality” and then there’s “work spirituality” where I have to be more serious.  So serious is fact that my soul is left at home.

I think true spirituality is marked not by a sense of obligation but by a sense of heart.  That is, you can’t fake real spirituality.  You either choose to live by what you believe… or you choose to make what you believe a Sunday or Friday or Saturday thing.  Say you love animals… that’s a spiritual thing in my books.  Why not work with people who help animals… then your work becomes an expression of your spirit.

Selling out is sometimes a necessity but…

I was reading Stephen King’s short story The Mist and there was this section that Mr. King used to great effect (taken from Skeleton Crew, p.107):

“The picture was titled Beans and False Perspective. A man from California who was a top exec in some company that makes tennis balls and rackets and who knows what other sports equipment seemed to want that picture very badly, and would not take no for an answer in spite of the NFS card tucked into the bottom left-hand corner of the spare wooden frame.  He began at six hundred dollars and worked his way to four-thousand.  He said he wanted it for his study.  I would not let him have it, and he went away sorely puzzled.  Even so, he didn’t give up; he left his card in case I changed my mind.”

What emerges is that the artist felt it was the best picture he had ever painted and it wasn’t until later when he took the picture that he realised that it was of commercial value only… there really wasn’t much more to it.  He sells the picture:

“Then I happened to show Ollie Weeks one day last fall.  He asked me if he could photograph it and run it as an ad one week, and that was the end of my own false perspective.  Ollie had recognised the painting for what it was, and by doing so, he forced me to recognise it too.  A perfectly good piece of slick commercial art.  No more and thank God, no less.”

Yet, in the selling of the picture the artist makes a living… albeit off what he calls ‘commercial’ art.  In spiritual matters it’s no different.  You can’t have a logical perspective about something that is as rich with meaning and say you don’t feel what you mean?  As an artist, you can sell out if you are afforded the opportunity… as to survive.  Yet, spiritually speaking you have ‘talent’… you have expressions.  These are spiritual things.  What kind of expressions do you have at work?

Work as a place of spiritual death

The divide between what is sacred and what is secular is something I don’t wish to attack in this post.  What I do want to discuss is how our values are often not embedded in what we do at work.  One might say, that our spiritual sides or that underlying and intersecting heart weaves through what we do.  Why do so many of us act ugly then when it comes to work?  What’s that about?  Do we not believe what we say we believe when we come to work?  Ambition makes a false perspective for us all and centres our status on ourselves rather than that work of others and ourselves.  Why do we not shake this off?  Pragmatics.  Yet we say our workplaces have a degree of spirituality yet in that we have none.  We fight, and strive and really at work we can get caught up in the ‘spirituality of self’. Yet if we are to contend the existence of something greater and we are expressing it… it is ourselves we are expressing.

Bringing our values to work

What do you believe?  Are you like most people and want a bigger house, a better car, more money and a better life?  What about spiritual things?  Do you believe in love?  What are you doing today (Sunday) and what would you do tomorrow in some small way to express your spirit?  Let’s move beyond  the world of self satisfaction for a moment and ask the question, ‘What’s in it for us?’ After all, what we share and build together has lasting value for all of us rather than the one who stands on the shoulders of others to be seen by executives.

In closing this post I want you to read a great short story that takes these issues seriously and inspired me to write this.  It’s called in the Country of the Blind by H.G. Wells.  I read it in less than an hour and I realised that a lot of my own beliefs are somewhat constrained due to the way I perceive things.  I have indeed underestimated the power of workplace beliefs and there impact.  Thanks for reading and remember just by showing a little bit of grace or love to someone you can make a huge difference in your workplace.

If you say to this mulberry tree…

A tree

I was reading the bible the other day when something I hadn’t seen before smacked me in the chops. Jesus was talking to his disciples about unforgiveness in Luke 17. Jesus told them that if a brother comes to you seven times in day and sins against then asks for forgiveness you should forgive him each time. The disciples were amazed by this because they asked for more faith. What Jesus says next always bothered me. He said that if you had faith as a mustard seed you would say to this mulberry tree be uprooted and be planted in the sea and it would obey you.  I had glossed over that many times.  This time however I read the bit about being a servant underneath and was even more perplexed.  Then it struck me.  Jesus is saying that faith (or an expressed belief) needs to be replaced by another expressed belief in order for the previous belief to be ‘removed and cast into the sea.  I would one belief dissolves the other and removes it’s potency because it stops the previous one from existing.   That is, you get rid of old beliefs by replacing them with new ones that are more powerful.

As you find ways to remove old beliefs about your life, circumstances and so on… it’s like the old beliefs were never there.  Indeed you can make yourself believe anything if you lie to yourself often enough can’t you?  You can change memories, change habits, change how you feel… by having your beliefs changed.  Yet the how is the part we want isn’t it?  How and/or can we change our beliefs?  What I think Jesus might have been saying was this: You can forgive if you believe you can because that belief will enable you to act.  Love is a powerful emotion… use it!  Use what you have and you might just be surprised at what follows.   :D

Happy Valentines Day

To all the lovers, brothers, mothers and ‘others’ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.  Now as a present to you I invite you to read this and have a good laugh at the pictures.  Whatever you do today or have done (if you live in Australia or New Zealand it’s night time!) do it with love in your heart.  And now for something smooshy:

chihuahua with love heart

 

Have a great valentines day.

7 signs of failing relationship and what you can do about it

Rose courtesy of victorianrose.com

Have you ever come home from work and the lights are off? Ever noticed how a friend, colleague or spouse has increased in negativity towards you? Here are seven signs of a failing relationship and steps you can take towards wholeness.

Have you ever noticed a level of nastiness creeping into the conversation. Someone I know once wrote me an email that I was disgusted at. I was like… what the? Unwillingly I had offended the person in question by making an offhand remark via email. Don’t do that! What to do:

Get to the bottom of why it’s happening

Go speak to the person and confront the issue. The worst thing you can do is just let it go. You must confront them and find out why this is happening. Be careful here, don’t misinterpret signals that are coming from people. Check your own self esteem first. The worse thing you can do is confront someone and you have not understood their intentions.

2. Are you sleeping alone?

Do you find you and your partner are sleeping in separate beds. This is a symptom of a bigger problem. You didn’t just get there overnight. You made bad decisions over a period of time that added up to your present situation. What can you do about it?

Find out what caused it

There is a reason. The first thing you need to do is remember, although people seem to act without a reason they have due cause to be mad. Wind back, think through the situation and take it from there. If nothing comes up. Go and apologise anyway. It will come out eventually.

3. When your wife spends more time with television or Myspace/Facebook than with you

Social networking sites often substitute for real relationships. When your wife/husband/partner spends more time playing around on Facebook or watching television than they do with you… you have a problem. The attention you once had has now vapourised.

Make time to spend with them

I have found the number one reason this occurs is because I have not shown significant interest in my partner. Often, I will notice this happening because I am working too much, spending too much time out of the house and so on. Make time. You may think your job is important but I can tell you a divorce is a lot more expensive in financial terms. Not too mention the emotion cost on children and you.

4. Partner stays longer at work

If your partner stays longer at work than he or she should it could be that your relationship is beginning to fail. The reasons for this are many and varied.

Get them off the job

Firstly, why do they want to work more and trade that off for home time? No matter what reason they offer (job security or whatever) the chances are that they are avoiding home. Why? Secondly, find out what the work is like and if it’s truly the case ask them why they want to work more and be with the family less? It is a choice. Oh, but my job makes me work these extra hours. Really? Turn off your Blackberry and save your family!

5. You are going to bed alone

You find yourself ‘staying up’ to play computer games, stumble, digg or looking at porn. If you are doing these things you are substituting.

Don’t go to bed alone

If you are going to bed alone why not get up earlier and work when people are asleep? Why do it? Learn strategies to work smarter and make the time to spend with your partner, just talking about your day, watching television together or whatever. Just do it. Money can buy you a big house but it cannot buy you a lasting meaningful relationship.

6. Partner stops calling you at work or from work

You may be wondering why you stop calling each from work? Do you send text messages to each other? Emails? When this communication slows down and you absolutely dread going home. You have a problem.

Take time out

Stop what you are doing and make a deliberate effort to touch base with your partner. Spend just an hour everyday talking to them. Even if it’ s ten minutes. Write them an email saying how much you love them, do something thoughtful, write a love note, a poem (if you are into this kind of thing) or something you know your partner will appreciate. Rekindle that love by showing the other person that you care. You don’t have to put it in words.

7. The “love” boat has stopped the motion in the ocean

Note, I put this last. Sure sex is lots of fun but should you build your relationships around it? Love is what makes relationships work. Not sex. However, if the lovin’ ceases and you don’t have a good reason (sickness, children, etc etc) you should investigate why.

When love stops coming to town

This is hard to answer in a short communication but it can be for a variety of reasons. Have you stopped paying attention to each other, stopped loving each other. Remember when you first got married and it was ‘oh I love you… no I love you?’ What happened to that? You know what it’s still there. Remind yourself on a daily basis why you got married or hooked up with your other half. Think it through. Write down a list of the things you admire about your partner and speak it loud to yourself. Allow yourself to feel what it was like back then and begin to act on those feelings. If you have the relationship set on love, honour and mutual respect you can’t go wrong.

Now I know some relationships go bad and for many MANY reasons and you can’t save them. But some you can. You married the person you did because you love them. We now have mandatory mediation for marriages that are in divorce court but why does it have to be when it’s too late? If your marriage is in trouble seek out a qualified professional today and get on top of the problem before it’s too late.

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The think different challenge: Learning to love your boss

I got an email from Tristan at the synergy institute about the Think Different Challenge. A friend of his from I will change your life.com started the idea a few days ago. The rules of the challenge can be found here. In short I have to take something I feel negative about and change my thinking. I picked a person who I think represents a problem I have with authority in my life. I am not overly rebellious neither am I difficult to get along with but I sometimes am very suspicious of people in authority over me. I don’t think one person stands out as being ‘Nazi boss from hell’ and I really think this is a bad belief system that I am holding on to. So, I have decided to think differently about authority and learn to love my boss.

Our thoughts make up our being to a large extent. We are the sum total of what we spend our time thinking about. So, what do I think about authority? Here is a list.

1. I don’t like it

I hate people telling me what to do. Not a bad thing considering I have two failed attempts at business in the can. Yet this is a dominating thought pattern I need to overcome if I am to consider success.

2. I want freedom

Who doesn’t? In me is the inbuilt desire to want to do what I want and not be told by anyone what to do. A good belief to a point but I am employed and I need to respect the rules of that institution. After all they give me money!

3. A host of other reasons…

I think the majority of it can be explained by my heritage. My dad hates authority. There some excuses. Now for the real deal.  I am going to take this guys advice and avoid procrastination!

How do I change my perspective to allow me to have a better relationship with authority? I learn to love my boss. Firstly, what is it about my boss that I don’t like? Him or the position he holds. I thought he was a great bloke until he got the job. Now, I need to, in my mind, separate the position from the person and attempt to think in the same way they do. I start by surfacing my hidden assumptions about authority and deliberately challenging them. So here goes:

1. My boss rules me with an iron fist

Does he? How many times a day does he tell me what I can and can’t do? Only when he has to because he is being paid to. You would be surprised the amount of general and upper level managers are putting on the game face at work. I often talk to people in these positions and most of the time they are just doing what they think they should be in accordance with the wishes of management. They are playing a role and for this reason are under a lot of pressure. As a defense mechanism they are resorting to control because it’s there responsibility to. Is this personal… not likely so I can’t believe my boss is Hitler I have to move on.  This next one really stretches my comfort zone but here we go.

2. My boss is stealing away my freedom of expression

Really? Is your freedom of expression relevant to what you are being paid to do? Maybe you chose the wrong job and your boss isn’t the problem. My freedom of expression is only relevant to what my job is. If my job requires no freedom of expression then why should I be ‘free’ to use it? My perspective should be I am here to do the job I was paid to, not create a new job for which the boss isn’t paying me. I can do ‘me’ things when I have the ability to support myself. When I signed the contract that was it! I can bring my creative expression to my set tasks or make them better but this is not the place to get cute with creativity. I have a contractual obligation! Don’t burn out on it and quit your job because you will find the assumption following you to your next job if you do.

3. I have a problem with authority

Why? This is because in your brain you think authority is a bad thing. Authority is a good thing. Why? Imagine if your house caught fire and you wanted it put out but you needed to give permission to the fire brigade. Say you are being beaten and because there are no police officers you never get your case heard. What if the laws that are designed to protect your rights don’t work and your house is taken away. What then? What you are really saying is: I don’t want authority in my life I want it all my own way. Being under submission to other people is a good thing in the right circumstances. Remember, whatever you do that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

4. My boss never hears what I say

Really? Your boss never pays attention to you? That is a good thing! If your boss is watching you it’s because you are a problem. Managers only solve the problems they are engaged with. They delegate everything they can because it helps them in their jobs. Chances are your boss doesn’t want to hear what you have to say because you are not in his/her engagement space. People only ever solve the problems they have to because people perceive things to be problematic. That is, problems are perspectives.  A person in management is under pressure to make decisions, perform lots of boring routine tasks and make difficult and complex decisions.  Your issue is probably not as important as the one that they are currently engaged with.

These are the four key assumptions in my life that I challenged and you know what… I feel better already.   To do this for yourself find a negative thing you don’t like and write down the hidden assumptions it’s built on.  Then systematically challenge those negative assumptions by building positive alternatives.  Over time as you gently reinforce these positive assumptions they will come to replace the negative ones.  Tie your imagination to the process and see yourself being happy with the problem.  See yourself coping.

I hope you have enjoyed this article.  To learn more about the thinking differently challenge.  Click the link below.

Think different

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