There is a saying: once bitten, twice shy. So what happens when you get bitten repeatedly by the same dog over and over again? There can be no doubt that you should avoid that dog because it turns on you too often. I had a dog like that once so I got rid of it. There is another dog that bit me more times than I can count. It’s the dog of the modern mainstream church.

Now before you start, I would like to say I am still a Christian and yes I do things that are considered so. Have a look at my about page (up and to the right!). I am happily involved in Christian based aid. So what’s the beef I have with church?

Why I won’t go to church anymore

My experiences with church go back a long way. However, the most recent event broke my heart. My oldest daughter had been going to a church group for a little over two years. Last Sunday I was hanging around just watching what she was doing.  I noticed that none of the other children were talking to her.  In fact they were ignoring her. She walked up to a few people and they just looked away. Now, I know that perhaps I shouldn’t be so sensitive. But, you would think after two years that kids would get to know other kids?  The problem for her was that she was not attending the school attached to the church so she was outcast.

The funny thing is two minutes before that a person said to me, ‘are you new here?’ I had been going for two years. I would also like to add that went to groups and participated in events for some time. So why the stigma? I don’t know.

So what’s the big deal? A bunch of other kids won’t talk to my children. So what? Well this is the big deal. If you don’t fit into a church they exclude you. Don’t believe me? Go into your local “mainstream church” and carry a baby with no visible husband in sight. Tell me what happens. I will tell you a story of how they wouldn’t take a photo of my sister in law for their church ‘family wall’ due to the fact the she told them she was a single mother.  They totally ignored her and nobody spoke to her for the duration so-called “welcome to our church” function. They realised she was a single mother and thought we don’t want that in here.  They mustn’t think Jesus, would want his photo taken with a single mother.  That’s disgusting!

When I left a church I was attending as an active member for over three years I was humilitated by the fact that they ignored me on the street.  I had shared personal secrets with these people but because I wasn’t in the “clique” anymore I was excommunicated.  I was invisible to them.  Even though I made firm eye contact.  These were people that I felt were my friends. Friendship for most church people does not extend past the building or the immediate circle of church goers.

Church is no longer about Christ it’s about empire building

Empires are what early Christians fled from because they were being killed by the dozens. Somewhere along the line the church decided to become the empire of ‘Christ’ and didn’t consult God about it. It’s one thing to assume you are the leader of a group but quite another to use your authority to make your own empire. Why do we have such big congregations that grow by the thousands when people like me and my sister in law are excluded? Ego? It’s so that an empire can be built in the name of God. I have no problem with people being successful and believe it or not no problem with large churches. Who am I to criticise what people want to do? Go for it. But, what about the fractured? What about the outcasts and excluded? Society already frowns on them… so why exclude them? For God’s sake read your bible. Jesus spent his whole time with hookers, tax agents and the working class of his day. I don’t think he was that offended by these people.

Church suits certain personality types

I am not an outgoing person by nature. I am introverted. I cringe at the sight of people attending parties and the like and I can imagine some of you do too. I am not the sort of person to engage in self-promotion or anything like that. It’s not in my nature to even want to be found. It’s the way I like it. I am not openly attracted to large groups neither am I the kind of person to be found at the centre of attention. Perhaps this is where I differ from the expectations of church goers.  They want hugging, kisses, meet and greet and want to live in your pocket. I don’t want to see empires. I want to see a difference. The world has major problems and I am yet to attend a church that even makes a difference in it’s own community. That is not to say there isn’t one. I am sure there is. You just won’t see me there.

Challenging church mentalities on ‘tithing’

There is a lot of debate about giving in the church. Personally it’s your money, do what you want with it. If you wish to give it to a person to support them to teach you their version of the bible and build a great big building then that’s your choice. When my wife wrote a letter to the church asking them how we could afford to tithe when we couldn’t afford to pay our bills I was mystified by their response. In a fairly “nice” letter we were told we just have to be obedient. Ah, the works gospel in evidence again. How can one be obedient when the resources required to do so are absent? So I tell the bank, who is going to bankrupt me, that my tithe is due and I have to be obedient to God. No matter which way you look at this it’s manipulation of the worst kind. When you tell someone who is struggling, that they just have to obedient; or else they fall under a ‘curse’, you are missing the point. Oh and by the way I still don’t tithe even though I paid off most of my debts in one year through a miraculous chain of events.  All things are possible to them who believe! I am giver but out of a cheerful heart not because the pastor told me so. And I am not bound to do so according to way I see ‘grace’.

I am speaking about the churches I have attended and I have to say that my case is my case. It’s not your case. You may get something tremendous out of church. They may not isolate you or make judgments from afar. They do to me.  One morning I “woke up” when reading my bible. It said that you can’t put new wine into old wineskins. Why not? Because they will break. If you mix rules and regulations with Grace you don’t have a real Gospel you have a works minded flesh fest.  You can’t make God do what you want then expect him to like it either.  So why do we persist in religious routines?  That is outside my understanding at this stage.

Over the past two years I have worked very hard to fit in. I tried to belong and even made an effort for my children’s sake to get them go along to church. I went to meetings, I attended home groups and yes I even went out the front several times. Evidently, it was all in vain. In my experience the modern mainstream churches are missing heart. And yes this is another post of mine on the heart. I will never stop being a Christian because of my life experiences but that doesn’t mean you will see me in a church anytime soon. I have had too many bad experiences to go near that dog again. Can I suggest if it bites you … run. It’s a real mongrel when it gets a hold of you.

This is another post of my on-going conversation about the heart.

“…If you believe you have received it then it shall be yours.” Mark 11:24.

In a previous article I spoke about hope and why I thought it was so important. In this article I want to talk about how to turn hope into faith. Faith is one of those simple to do but hard to understand things that most people need to use and develop in their own life. I believe there are four key steps you need to master to do this.

1. Know what you want

I can’t say this with any more words: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. If you know what you want… then you will know that you know that you want it. Putting aside all the stuff you may have heard prior to this. The bottom line is that you can create desires and believe for things you want. If you don’t know what you don’t want then you have nothing tangible to believe for. Rev. Paul Yonggi Cho says it this way, ‘have a clear cut objective’. I believe without knowing what you want you can never get what you want. When you have a hope for something better, that’s the starting point for faith. When your dream begins to grow inside you and you see yourself with it then you are beginning to turn hope into faith. Knowing what you want, is the starting point. It is supplemented by hope because hope is faith in embryo form.

2. Ask for what you want

The second most important thing about faith is that you ask. It says in the bible that you don’t ask so you don’t get. I think in reality we think we haven’t earned what we want or some other poisonous belief slips through the crack to show itself in our thinking. You have nothing because you haven’t asked for it. Are you asking for it? Have you asked for it? If you want something from somebody (i.e. God) what do you do? You say, ‘can you please pass me the salt?’ So why should life goals be any different. Ask for what you know that you want.

3. Believe that what you want is yours… already and be thankful for it

This is a tough one. When you hope you defer things into the future. That means that ’someday’ you will get it. Not so with faith. When you have faith you know it because you can call those things which don’t exist yet as though they did. Why can you do this? I don’t know. I know that it works, that’s about all I can tell you at this stage. Once you have asked for what you know that you want you have to believe that you have it. I think of it this way for me. When I put in my request, I think of it as an order. When was the last time you walked into a fancy restaurant and was served the moment you sat down? Or putting it another way when was the last time you were given a cheque and you went and bought a loaf of bread with it. No, you have to cash that sucker first. Faith says, ‘I have placed my order, now I know it’s mine… God granted it to me.’ Beyond that point the how and the why are out of the realm of your concern.

Here’s something that works for me: Close your eyes for a moment and think of something that you really desire. Can you picture yourself with it? I mean really can you see yourself having it, holding it and using it? If you could then what’s stopping you from taking that imagination and using it to be thankful to God that you have it now? What’s the hold up? If you can’t see it then you are still hoping.  Don’t worry.  The time will come when the desire will overwhelm you and you WILL see yourself with it.  I will post on this soon.
4. Begin speaking, acting, thinking and feeling as though it was yours already

A long time ago I thought that when you believed for something that was enough.  I have since learned that when you want something you have to focus yourself to the extent where you begin to talk, think and feel.  Say you want to be healed of something.  So you know what you want and ask for it believing it has been granted to you so now what you have to do is create the atmosphere in the natural order for things to change.  You see, it’s a complete cycle.  This world is one thing split into two parts.  The underlying essential elements (what I call the spirit) and the natural structure.  If you hold to the biblical account (as I do) then you recognise the spiritual underpins and gives birth to the natural.

However, whilst the two orders operate on different principles they are inexplicably connected.  Back to my healing example: you see the solution (the healing), you believe you have it (you can see yourself healed), you now need to take that inner spiritual concept and release it to create in your life.  You see, we create things that come from the inside out.  The light bulb, the wheel and so on began as an ‘inner’ conceptual frame which worked it’s way to the outside.   Here is an example from my own life.

Faith in Action in my own life

Once upon a time I suffered from very severe dermatitis, at the start of the disease my hands were cracked and small blisters appeared on my hands.  As I live in a very humid climate the cracks were exposed to the elements and somehow severe infection set in.  A pastor friend of mine told me that he was healed from sinus when he believed.  So I thought it was time to give it a good aussie go.

The next thing to happen was things got worse.  The infection became so bad that I was in constant pain.  So back to the doctor I went.  I got a new supply of skin cream which at first worked then after a while a new infection set in and I was in even more pain than before.  At some stage I just snapped!  I couldn’t write or type and had a new born baby to contend with.  I actually took the medication and threw it away.  It wasn’t helping, it only made things worse.  After I threw out my medication I began to say ‘I will get my healing from God!’.   Things just kept getting worse and worse.

Then one day about one month later the pain began to subside and within two weeks my hands were restored to normal. During this time I thanked God that he had given me the healing and from there things began to incrementally improve. I still bare the scars on my hands of that time and from time to time it comes back but I always remember what I said and it never lasts long.  Certainly, it’s nowhere near as bad as it was before and it will never get on top of me again.  It was like the moment I began to let the words tell me that I had it, the world around me sat up and took notice.

You can put this to work

I have heard it said that we don’t get because we don’t ask.  That was me for many years.  Now, I am paying debts I could pay ($20, 000 this year alone) and getting opportunities that I never had before.  Does it always work?  No.  But it works more often than not.  Should you throw away medication?  No, I still use it in other areas and have many hurdles that I can’t see my way out of.  Nevertheless, trusting God works more often than it doesn’t.  What’s the alternative… leave your life in the hands of the world?  No thanks.  Tried that and I wound up almost bankrupt.  I would rather use my faith and walk with God thanks.

My advice is to start with something you hope for that is just out of your reach not four hundred years out of your reach.  Stretch yourself so that you ask for something you can’t do that is not completely ridiculous.  So it may be a pay rise at work, help for your relatives, moving a small obstacle or even believing for a pair of socks. Remember there are really four stages at work:

1. Know what you want

2. Ask for it

3. Believe that it’s yours and be thankful for it

4. Speak, act, think and feel as though you have it now.

I want to stress that this is a summary of turning hope into faith.  There are many ways you can do this and a lot of things you can achieve if you begin to stretch your faith.  I am reminded on something that Jesus said to his disciples when they had problems curing the epileptic child:

“All things are possible to him who believes” Mark 9:23.

In today’s take take take world we can become distracted with a mindset of materialism.  We can go about accumulating our own wealth at the expense of others and not really know why we should be giving.  Sure, I have heard all the arguments before.  Well, I don’t want to give because I got ripped off or whatever.  The bottom line is you cannot afford not to give.  Here’s five reasons why:

Giving makes you happy

Are you really happy?  No really?  Why not shift your focus to making someone else happy and give them something need.  I guarantee it will make you feel an inner satisfaction you can’t replace.

Giving increasing your thankfulness

The more you receive and give the more thankful you will be for everyday.  One particular person I know is constantly giving and I asked him once why and he replied with, ‘I am so prosperous how can I not?’  He isn’t rich but you get my drift. When you consider the amount of takers we have this is a great attitude to have.

Giving gets you credibility 

Over a period of time if you are a giver somebody will find out.  Sure, you will have a hoard of moochers round your way but over a period of time you may become a ‘pillar’ in the community.  This is social wealth and that’s far more powerful than cash based wealth.  Who wants money without any power to change anything anyway?  Social power is what gets things done.

Giving releases love

Love is what this world needs right now.  My bible says, love your neighbour as yourself.  Love isn’t love until you give it away (so the song goes) so begin giving.  Do you want to show appreciation to someone… don’t say anything show them you love them by giving to them.  If you have to think about it then you aren’t in a spirit of genorosity and probably shouldn’t do it.  There are so many people who make excuses.  Don’t think just go release your love for someone by giving to them.  AND it doesn’t have to be money, it can be time
Giving opens up the door for receiving

I don’t know about you but when I give I get blessed in return.  I am not looking for an ROI strategy from this but I can say that when I don’t hold back on the giving I find myself oversupplied.  Do I know the reasons for this?  No.  I would say it’s a underlying spiritual reality.  Does it always produce results? Yes.   Being generous may not get you a million dollars in return but it will open up the door somewhere down the road for you to begin to receive.

So next time you are faced with an opportunity to release some wealth into someone else’s life I urge you to take the opportunity.  It will enrich your life in many, MANY ways.

The other day my sister in law told us that she found a tree right down the end of her yard that she didn’t even know she had. When she investigated further she noticed something was growing on it … hello Macadamia nuts! When she told me that story I thought how often in life do we not know that we have something valuable and how much we overlook who we really are. Do you know that you may have something valuable that can be shared with others? What stops us from seeing that value we have?

I believe that the answer is not a simple one but a great percentage of people I have met cannot see their value because they believe lies about themselves. The last time you made a mistake did you slam your fist into the table and scream obscenities at yourself. If you did, did you know that you are making yourself believe that you are worth the abuse? You are saying to yourself, ‘Gee I am totally stupid and worthless aren’t I? I guess that I couldn’t run an automated pig farm?’ Think about what you say during a day and make a thought diary.

How do you do this? Well its simple really find a notebook and write down what you think you are every time you say it. There’s a key. We often don’t realise that we are telling ourselves what our real value is everyday of our life when we say it. A principle that most people overlook is this: whether you know it or don’t what you think you are comes from a deep well of underlying ideas that grow inside you. How do you they grow? They grow because we feed them by recognising the value they have by speaking to it.

Knowing your value starts with understanding where you draw your values from. The first thing you need to know is what am I worth? This is not a financial question that you answer by opening up your wallet and taking a look at how much cash you have. Your sense of self-worth does not come from the things you own because if it does you are much emptier than you know. True self-worth comes by recognising that you are not worthless that you have some value. Knowing your value means knowing that you are valuable. How can you really know this?

You know who you are not by what you do but by who you are. Some people attach their identity to what they do. Some people attach their identity to their social standing and the clubs they join. The bottom line is: those things are poor substitutes for the sad truth that people are missing something that they really need. A sense that they don’t need anything to prove their own worth. All they need is to know that they are accepted.

As a Christian you have this right. Service and the things you do make no difference and the influential friends that you hold dear to you are all there to make you feel better about something that you lack. Inside you there is a belief system that says: I need something to make me feel adequate. I need money to feel as if I am somebody… I need a lot of friends because if I need people around me to keep me up or whatever it might be.

For me, a key problem was always trying to prove myself to others to make myself feel like they liked me. I would do extraordinary things to try and get people to like me. I would buy them things, do extra work for them and whatever came to mind to try and make these people think that I had value. What I didn’t realise was that I was trying to buy friends by making them like me. I could make people like me and I could do things that would make me look superior but on the inside I was empty and hollow because I knew (as I imagine you do if you are reading this) that I was totally empty. Sure I had people around me to feel sorry for me or boost me up which helped but the real problem was I thought I didn’t have any value. I needed these people in my life to give me value. The truth is your value comes from something much deeper than that. As a Christian your value comes from God.

In the world’s way of doing things we con ourselves into believing that we are worth something by playing games. We play all kinds of games. At work we climb over people because we think we need to have that next level to feel successful or we talk down to people who are not as ‘affluent’ as us because we think they are inferior. Why would we do that? We do it because we have a deep down need to feel like we have value. The problem is: you already have value.

The bible tells us that Jesus Christ lives with us (2 Cor 6:16) and that he has accepted us (Eph 1:3). If we believe that this is true then what else really matters? Jesus also said that the cares of this world choke the fruitfulness of God’s word in our lives (Mark 4:17-19). It would be easy for me to say, ‘brush them aside and focus on Jesus.’ However, this is easier said than done.

Beginning to recognise your value

Knowing your value starts when you realise this: God loves me unconditionally. Allow the thought that he loves you without any reason to settle in you. Think about it by running the thought through your mind everyday. Whenever you are tempted to think or say something terrible do this: point to yourself and say I am totally accepted by God. So what if people don’t like you… a bunch of people don’t like me. But I am not able to be rejected. You can reject the way I look, what I might say but you cannot reject me because I am not able to be rejected. If at heart I am accepted in Jesus Christ this means I can never be unaccepted. If I am totally settled in that knowledge and people reject me for whatever reason all I need to know is that he loves and accepts me totally.

This kind of knowledge does not come overnight like so many false promises of modern teachings tell us. You grow into this kind of knowledge. But it begins with you making the right decision right now by saying, “I am worth something… God accepts me and loves me unconditionally.” Add your spiritual faculties to this: begin believing it in your heart. Find an imaginative way to attach pleasure to the thought.

After a while you will begin to notice three things:

1. You are constantly devaluing yourself
2. The thoughts of love coming from you are true real feelings coming from God
3. There is nothing else that matters once you know that he accepts you

Now, I am not telling you that instantly you will feel better. Shy away from instant solutions. If they do work it’s only for a little while then you have to go back and put something else in its place. Find a scripture from the bible on what God thinks about you and say it every morning and every night when you go to bed. Think about it on a daily basis. Now I have not perfected this but from doing this I have stopped so many negative beliefs from arising up in my soul. I hope that you do practice what I have said here today by at least attempting to:

1. Recognising how you value yourself
2. Replacing that with a Godly way of seeing yourself

By doing this consistently and thinking about how God thinks about you, you will begin to see yourself as he does. You will see yourself as loved and accepted, totally forgiven and washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. If you don’t see yourself as God does, then you are probably seeing yourself as others do or worse as the enemy does. Grace teaches us that we are accepted, that we are not condemned that we are loved. Start today. Start right now: you are accepted, you are loved. Remember this: if you don’t attach value to you then nobody else will.

Did you like this article… why not sign up for our free newsletter or make a donation.