Archive for personal development

What’s special about you?

Each one of us whether we realise or not has something special to offer. I often struck with surprise when I look at the general population of my students as I tell them they had better be sure the career they choose is something they know they can do. Consider for a moment that you may not know enough of yourself to understand that you are actually attracted to certain things and just plain hate others. For example, I hate doing day to day routine things like paper work. Yet I recognise it as being extremely necessary to keep myself employed. What I get a thrill out of is doing creative things like writing, brainstorming and so on. That’s because I have an underlying stream of creativity that flows through me. That creativity is somehow infused into my being.

In a previous post on emotions I spoke of the need to look at the underlying nature of emotions and how they come out of us on a day to day basis. In that post I drew the analogy that people will not often come to you and say, ‘I am angry at something that happened in the past so I am going to take it out on you if you don’t mind.’ People get angry for whatever reason and you become the victim of it. The same thing goes for people who act as extroverts in social groups. They have been seen as ‘extroverts’ because that’s a central underlying part of their being flowing out of them.

So what’s different about you?

It has been said that we are all the same and there is nobody who is special. I believe this to be true but for a different reason. Everybody has something different about them that makes them ‘unique’. The connotation of something special means that you have some kind of status that makes you better than the rest. You are no better or worse than anyone… we are all in the same boat. Money, sad to say, does not make you a better person. Quite often it makes you much, much worse. There is however, a side to you that makes you entirely different from those around you. What makes you special is the fact that you have something different than people who are around you. That difference is what makes you an individual and it’s something you need to nurture.

The Mask

What you are really like is often sheltered under a mask that you were to make people think something about you. If you want people to think you are a certain way then you will wear a mask. I really saw a part of the Mask movie in which the main character is asking a psychologist advice about this mystical mask he has found. The psychologist uses the mask as a helpful metaphor to understand the reality of how we pretend in our social interactions. That pretending we do hides the real us from people. What makes us different or special is something that is underneath that. Here is an example in my own life.

When I sit down to write something I often don’t plan it out. I don’t need to worry about it because it writes itself. The fiction project I have on this website for example I wrote one page at a time by sitting down and just letting it flow through my imagination.  That’s me.  That may not be you.  You may be like my sister in law and be completely into administrative things.

The bottom line

The bottom line of course is that you should not do things you should not be doing.  Despite the grammatical errors in that previous sentence it is worth repeating.  If you are involved in something that is contrary to your nature you will eventually find yourself confused, frustrated, annoyed and angry.  Don’t burn yourself out.  There are some things that are stepping stones but if you take a position that is not going to teach you something, or help you reach your goals, then you will wind up miserable, frustrated and annoyed.  Just don’t do it.  You have something in you that makes you special.  It makes you different from those around you.  Find out what it is.  Find out what your underlying talents are and develop them day by day.  Practice them, dream about them, believe them into existence.

I want to repeat myself here because I think there are a lot of unfulfilled people in life.  You will not find peace in your life until you begin doing what you know you should be.  You can change and yes it’s not late or too early.  Don’t do what you think you should, find out what you are really like and go towards that one step at a time.  After all, you are special in some way.

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Knowing the real you

Isn’t it funny that one of the most intriguing things about us is us? Why is that we go to school, grow up and follow whatever we do and never think about it the reasons why we make decisions. We have in us dreams, desires and natural inclinations that we often don’t even know are there. However, there are really two different kinds of voices that come out of us when it comes to desires. The first is a desire to do something out of our own strength, what we can call what we would like to do and the other is something that comes out of us, which we can call what we should do.

Who are you?

Scientists tell us that we have two parts to the brain, the left side and the right side. Traditionally we have called the left side rational and the right side intuitive. In the spiritual workings of man there are also two really strong ways of discerning what comes from where and how to understand it. On the left (rational) side we have cognitive structures or logical conclusions that help us to reach certain kinds of solutions and on the right side we have intuitive reactions that come from the creative inner workings of our spirits. There is much confusion in Christian circles about how our two parts work together and how they function.

The left side of the brain is often labeled the logical brain. This side of the brain takes our ideas and shapes them into logical structures for us to understand things so we can appropriately frame the world around us. These frames form the foundation of our thinking when it’s logical thinking. Such thinking is a connected set of ideas that can be logically explained. Those who lean to this side of the brain quite often are adept at putting together very good arguments and can see the loopholes in the logic of others. Some people I work with are very good at building logical bridges from one end of a problem to another but all the time they are in analysis mode. All they are really doing is coming to solid conclusions based on the evidence they have before them.

Evidence is the substance that the natural left side of the brain creates things with. Its evidence is solid, factual and represented by sense data that it perceives to be useful to the person who is beholding it. A mathematical equation is purely logical. It has a sound formula to it that if you followed it would result in a known answer. It’s logical and rational. Most human beings operate this way when they are in the spirit. They see something and reach a conclusion based on natural evidence. An example is that I like Lasagne very VERY much. This is a logical conclusion I have reached by eating it and desiring it’s taste. This has nothing to do with the other side of my brain and it certainly has nothing to do with the way I am.

Knowing who you are does not come from drawing natural conclusions. It comes from something much deeper than that. If God had exalted the mind beyond it’s position in the body to be the centre then we could so easily say that we were made to be purely logical and absolutely natural but this isn’t the case. The left side of our brain reaches out into the world around us and makes logical conclusions. The other side the right side of our brain is the intuitive side. This is what we know about ourselves that we haven’t logically concluded.

Intuition is an inner knowing that presents us with information we have NOT logically derived from our experience in the world. This information stems from a deep inner knowing within us about something. Quite often we rationalise God out of existence before he has had a chance to tell us something. We draw logical conclusions without thinking about what we already know on the inside. Knowing the real you, who you really are, comes from the information that is not logically derived because it’s that which underpins everything else.

Logic can better be thought of 1 + 1 = 2 but stop for a minute. You know what you know about yourself because you know it. I know I like to play the guitar. Something inside me gets great pleasure out of creative things and I really enjoy it. I didn’t reach that conclusion by running a stochastic model, I found it out by just being in the right conditions to find it out. The real you is not logically available it’s intuitively available. If you find yourself attracted to certain things and you can’t explain why then you have found it or at least some of it.

I have a small black Chihuahua who went out into the backyard the other day and began barking at a bluetongue lizard. At first I thought she was just being annoying but after a while she got more and more vicious! When I went out the lizard was gone but the dog was still barking. Why was she doing that? Why didn’t she just let it go? She kept going because instinctively she didn’t know why but she had to do it. There was no real reason why but she had to do it. The conditions drew a tendency out of her that she wasn’t aware of and it bubbled to the surface.

One time I thought I was called to make lots of money and build a successful business. As time went on and the creative edge of business maintenance set in I realised I was have hidden entrepreneurial desires that come out in certain conditions yet I am a dreadful manager! The day to day grind of trying to come up with sales and make things work was horrible. I felt so tired and exhausted but I didn’t have the money to get someone else to do it. I am called to be creative and if I don’t pay attention … it finds another way to come out of me. I can write a short story or a novel and it just flows out of me. I get ideas, characters and all kinds of things coming to me. Now, I am not special but when the right conditions come along I find the real me.

Logically if I try to come to conclusions through reasoning, a survey (although they can be helpful in finding the underlying desires) or whatever I won’t find the real me. I already know what I am like and all I need to do is look at the way I am and I will find what I am supposed to be doing. A friend of mine likes to play chess, draw puzzles and play computers. I have found him to always look at what’s going on around him and come to the closest available solution which is less than helpful. However, put the man in front of a computer and he could make it sing. Why? The right conditions present him with what he likes doing being logically creative with technical things.

Now if I took the same person and told him he should sit down and come to a reasoned conclusion about who he really is he would have to come up with something rather than simply being who he is. The hardest choice you will ever have to make is deciding to be who you really are. You have been given talents and gifts by God for a reason. What conditions will you need to make it work for you? What will make you bark?

One half of your brain is logical for a reason, you need to reach conclusions about things that are well thought out and you need to make good decisions. If you want to learn how to drive a car, add up an equation or discern black from white then you need to know some stuff. That’s logical. You are not a machine and you are not an equation you are a living breathing spirit. I am not saying that you will know what you are supposed to do that’s a completely different story but the beginning of knowing who you are starts with what’s already there. You just need the right conditions to come along to tease that the real you out.

In concluding this article I would like to say that I think one of the greatest problems we have in the Christian world we have is that we have a church centric mentality. Every dream and every desire is fine so long as it’s supports the vision of the pastor. There is nothing wrong with vision bearing pastors or church but at some stage you must realise that God may not want you to be involved … he may have other desires in mind for you. Supporting your local church is good so long as you recognise that you are as much a minister as the pastor is and that you have a role to play that is equally as important. There are a lot of people who simply never find their calling in God because they cannot conceive of it outside of the four walls of the church. This is nothing more than religious nonsense. You are important and God loves you remember that.

I hope that you think about what I have written here. Don’t look at yourself through logically eyes to find the answer … look inside into your intuition. What does that tell you? If you can’t see past your logic ask yourself this question: What am I naturally drawn to? What do I want to do like nothing else I have ever done before? It’s my prayer that you will find this and over time allow God to show you what he has in store for you. The best is yet to come.

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Knowing your value in Christ

The other day my sister in law told us that she found a tree right down the end of her yard that she didn’t even know she had. When she investigated further she noticed something was growing on it … hello Macadamia nuts! When she told me that story I thought how often in life do we not know that we have something valuable and how much we overlook who we really are. Do you know that you may have something valuable that can be shared with others? What stops us from seeing that value we have?

I believe that the answer is not a simple one but a great percentage of people I have met cannot see their value because they believe lies about themselves. The last time you made a mistake did you slam your fist into the table and scream obscenities at yourself. If you did, did you know that you are making yourself believe that you are worth the abuse? You are saying to yourself, ‘Gee I am totally stupid and worthless aren’t I? I guess that I couldn’t run an automated pig farm?’ Think about what you say during a day and make a thought diary.

How do you do this? Well its simple really find a notebook and write down what you think you are every time you say it. There’s a key. We often don’t realise that we are telling ourselves what our real value is everyday of our life when we say it. A principle that most people overlook is this: whether you know it or don’t what you think you are comes from a deep well of underlying ideas that grow inside you. How do you they grow? They grow because we feed them by recognising the value they have by speaking to it.

Knowing your value starts with understanding where you draw your values from. The first thing you need to know is what am I worth? This is not a financial question that you answer by opening up your wallet and taking a look at how much cash you have. Your sense of self-worth does not come from the things you own because if it does you are much emptier than you know. True self-worth comes by recognising that you are not worthless that you have some value. Knowing your value means knowing that you are valuable. How can you really know this?

You know who you are not by what you do but by who you are. Some people attach their identity to what they do. Some people attach their identity to their social standing and the clubs they join. The bottom line is: those things are poor substitutes for the sad truth that people are missing something that they really need. A sense that they don’t need anything to prove their own worth. All they need is to know that they are accepted.

As a Christian you have this right. Service and the things you do make no difference and the influential friends that you hold dear to you are all there to make you feel better about something that you lack. Inside you there is a belief system that says: I need something to make me feel adequate. I need money to feel as if I am somebody… I need a lot of friends because if I need people around me to keep me up or whatever it might be.

For me, a key problem was always trying to prove myself to others to make myself feel like they liked me. I would do extraordinary things to try and get people to like me. I would buy them things, do extra work for them and whatever came to mind to try and make these people think that I had value. What I didn’t realise was that I was trying to buy friends by making them like me. I could make people like me and I could do things that would make me look superior but on the inside I was empty and hollow because I knew (as I imagine you do if you are reading this) that I was totally empty. Sure I had people around me to feel sorry for me or boost me up which helped but the real problem was I thought I didn’t have any value. I needed these people in my life to give me value. The truth is your value comes from something much deeper than that. As a Christian your value comes from God.

In the world’s way of doing things we con ourselves into believing that we are worth something by playing games. We play all kinds of games. At work we climb over people because we think we need to have that next level to feel successful or we talk down to people who are not as ‘affluent’ as us because we think they are inferior. Why would we do that? We do it because we have a deep down need to feel like we have value. The problem is: you already have value.

The bible tells us that Jesus Christ lives with us (2 Cor 6:16) and that he has accepted us (Eph 1:3). If we believe that this is true then what else really matters? Jesus also said that the cares of this world choke the fruitfulness of God’s word in our lives (Mark 4:17-19). It would be easy for me to say, ‘brush them aside and focus on Jesus.’ However, this is easier said than done.

 

Beginning to recognise your value

Knowing your value starts when you realise this: God loves me unconditionally. Allow the thought that he loves you without any reason to settle in you. Think about it by running the thought through your mind everyday. Whenever you are tempted to think or say something terrible do this: point to yourself and say I am totally accepted by God. So what if people don’t like you… a bunch of people don’t like me. But I am not able to be rejected. You can reject the way I look, what I might say but you cannot reject me because I am not able to be rejected. If at heart I am accepted in Jesus Christ this means I can never be unaccepted. If I am totally settled in that knowledge and people reject me for whatever reason all I need to know is that he loves and accepts me totally.

This kind of knowledge does not come overnight like so many false promises of modern teachings tell us. You grow into this kind of knowledge. But it begins with you making the right decision right now by saying, “I am worth something… God accepts me and loves me unconditionally.” Add your spiritual faculties to this: begin believing it in your heart. Find an imaginative way to attach pleasure to the thought.

After a while you will begin to notice three things:

  1. You are constantly devaluing yourself
  2. The thoughts of love coming from you are true real feelings coming from God
  3. There is nothing else that matters once you know that he accepts you

Now, I am not telling you that instantly you will feel better. Shy away from instant solutions. If they do work it’s only for a little while then you have to go back and put something else in its place. Find a scripture from the bible on what God thinks about you and say it every morning and every night when you go to bed. Think about it on a daily basis. Now I have not perfected this but from doing this I have stopped so many negative beliefs from arising up in my soul. I hope that you do practice what I have said here today by at least attempting to:

  1. Recognising how you value yourself
  2. Replacing that with a Godly way of seeing yourself

By doing this consistently and thinking about how God thinks about you, you will begin to see yourself as he does. You will see yourself as loved and accepted, totally forgiven and washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. If you don’t see yourself as God does, then you are probably seeing yourself as others do or worse as the enemy does. Grace teaches us that we are accepted, that we are not condemned that we are loved. Start today. Start right now: you are accepted, you are loved. Remember this: if you don’t attach value to you then nobody else will.

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8 things I have learned about success

I consider myself successful because not so many years ago I was unemployed with no education and nowhere to go. Now, although I am not financially prosperous, I have a job as an academic where I am able to teach other people about the very things I had trouble learning. I have just completed a PhD and now I am waiting for my marks … which when I consider it what I was previously is nothing short of miraculous! I had help from my friends, family and I believe God. However, I learned some amazing things about this life in this time and five of them I would like to share with you today.

1. Never ignore your heart

When I left school I had the fourth worst score you could get from the high school system in Queensland. This meant I was automatically rejected form every single university in the entire state. I was really depressed during that time because my dream was to go onto university and study. I never really stopped trying. Thanks to my abysmal score I had only one opportunity which was TAFE (Technical College/Polytechnic for my overseas readers). This particular college at the time was the single worst in the state. Intuitively my heart told me that going there was the right choice… not just because it was the only one but I knew for whatever reason it would open doors later on in life. Indeed it did… now I work at Griffith University as an Associate Lecturer in the Business School. Imagine that! I never stopped doing what I knew I should be though from time to time I did wander off track. Always listen to the drumbeat of your heart.

2. Be wary of the advice of others

People usually have good intentions when they are telling you what they think you should do. They cannot see into your destiny and do not know what you know about you. So take advice with a grain of salt. Listen carefully to the mistakes people have made. Like when people say don’t go into business with friends… ask them why? Ask them to explain why that would be a bad idea and listen. You will learn some pitfalls that you should avoid. On the other hand I had someone who kept telling me to stop studying and go and get a job. Now, I have a job and I am studying while I write cool blog entries like this one! Not only that, but I have met people from all over the world and worked with people twenty years my senior on major industry projects. I am not wealthy but I have gained a wealth of knowledge. Hence, I am here telling you (whoever you are – God bless you for reading) what I learned! What a great privilege.

3. Don’t say no because you can’t do it

I have learned that challenges will come. I have stood through what looked like at the time as a great impossibility only to find that I was led through it. Now as a believer I am convinced that impossible means nothing. However, a lot of the times we are facing challenges in our life that we think are truly impossible. What happens is we talk ourselves out of trying. This is a fatal mistake. When you venture out into the unknown you are a pioneer. You are paving the way for others to follow. If you say no, maybe others you will influence will agree with you and likewise not try. There is more to be gained from failing then there is in never trying. I always put action ahead of thinking, which at first seems counterintuitive, but I am all the richer for it. Try your ideas out, if you can, it’s a great way to learn if it works or not.

4. Don’t flog a dead horse

There are times in my life when I wish I could borrow the TARDIS from the Doctor and visit myself and say, ‘stop doing this… it’s going to be a disaster!’ Once I get going on a project I will work at it until it’s done. Sometimes my convictions are not well founded… therefore I make disasters. One incident springs to mind in which I had the opportunity to leave a business that ended up costing me HUGE amounts of money. At the time I was thinking it couldn’t possibly fail or rather this CAN’T possibly fail because I had so much at stake. It did fail. I find great comfort in the lyrics of the Gambler at such times. Knowing when to run is oh so important.

5. Learn to love failing

Following on from point 4. can I tell you that I love failing? Well no I don’t. I have some monumental failures (see fiction page) behind me. Sure, I have hurts attached to those failures but I also have learning. I love failing because I have learned something about myself, what I was doing and the problem I was trying to solve. You are not a failure because you have failed you are failure if you fail to learn. Learning is a key life skill. Failure hurts but it’s what you can milk from those failures that will put you heads and shoulders above the rest.

6. Opportunities do not come labelled

Oh how I wish they did. If there is one thing I could leave you with as you read this… please understand some opportunities you will never have again. Once I had a literary agent willing to sign for a book I wrote (again see the fiction page) and he told me to have it edited to suit the US. I was so excited. The guy I hired took over five months to get back to me with a finished manuscript! Initially I was told it would take I contacted the agent again and he’d moved on. I am still not over this but I have noticed… carefully assess every opportunity and make DAMNED sure you have support when you need it. If you don’t think fast, think quick and be smart. You may never EVER get the opportunity again. How I wish I could wind back the clock and slap that guy upside the head but what good will it do me? No bloody good! Expect opportunities and be cautious but go for it if you think it has a shot. You may not get another shot.

7. Be patient and take small steps daily

Patience is a annoying. I hate to wait as much as they next person. My wife recently planted a tomato tree in the backyard of our previous house. Right before we move I noticed a green fresh tomato growing and thought yes! Fresh tomatoes! You know what, we had to move and leave the plant there because it’s roots were so deep it probably wouldn’t have made it. How long did I wait for the tomato only to have it snatched from my grasp? Now I feel robbed! Patience though will get me another plant in just a short while and I will have my fresh tomatoes. Think about how patient the plant is and how slowly it’s roots grow. I have been told that some forms of bamboo will sit under the soil for years and suddenly shoot up only to become a deep rooted pest! We need to be like that. Take steps towards a goal on a daily basis and make good quality decisions regularly as you do. All of the good things in my life I have had to wait for. Day after day, year after year. Now, while I was doing nothing… nothing happened. Yet, if I build it bit by bit I have the complete building at the end. I would urge you to do the same. You may never get there as such but someone will come after you and who knows what your legacy will be like. Don’t wait to develop your goals… do it now but do so one day after the other.

8. Acknowledge, encourage, recognise and honour the people around you who help

I am disgusted to my very bones when I think about the amount of heroes we have in society. Why? Every successful person has people who encourage them along the way and support them. They would be nothing without those people. One person I think of in my life is my mother. Now this may seem corny… but she always has something positive to say when it comes to what I am doing. A birthday card I got from her once said, ‘Happy Birthday Professor’. That blessed me so much that I have never forgot it. At the time I was really struggling and people all around me were telling me to quit what I was doing. God bless you mum. When I look back at where I came from to where I am now I am amazed. Those that put up with me and helped me all know that I appreciate their input.

Thanks for reading this article… remember you can donate or even better leave me some constructive feedback. See you next time.

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What happens when we ‘lift boulders’ for others?

Recently in a dream I found myself driving a huge crane that was lifting big boulders.  To the side of the boulders were golden rocks that were just sitting there. The first thought that came to me when I woke up was… I am helping others getting work done but not doing what I need to do to make sure I continue to succeed.  The gold that I have waiting to be refined is sitting there as I do backbreaking labour for others … who probably don’t care!  I am doing the donkey work for others at the expense of my own work. 

Part of the harsh realities of life is that you must be careful in selecting what you do to help others.  I believe we should be helping others because it’s part of my values however, if we do too much for others and neglect what we need to do … our opportunities to grow may be missed.  How do you know you are lifting boulders for other people?

 

You have been doing something for a while and you are making no progress

 

If you walk up a hill one step at a time you will eventually get to the top.  However, if you begin to walk around in circles your destination will be the same as your starting point!  Have you been doing this for a while… could be you are helping others get ahead at the neglect of yourself?

 

There is just no time for me

 

Is this you as well?  The whole idea of time for yourself is important because you are accountable for you.  What I am saying is this: make time.  That’s great but with all the things I am doing there is simply not enough time right?  Wrong!  There could be some things you are doing for others that should be pushed aside.

 

People around me treat me like a dumping station

 

A hallmark of finding out that you are carrying boulders for others is the amount of things people just give you to do.  Now, there are some things that you should do and helping others is very important.   Don’t be a dumping station… only take on those things that you know you can do without hindering your own future. 

 

I just can’t say no

 

This one is a tough one.  I work with a person who just can’t say no and I am much the same myself.  However, if you want progress in things that are important, you must get tough.  I have had to say no to some opportunities recently because it would have hindered what I was trying to achieve strategically.  Learn that no is a positive way of keeping what’s important on track. 

 

When you incubate the dreams of your heart does it fill you with excitement… does it fill you with joy?  Then ask yourself this question: is it worth trading what the fulfillment of that for temporary acknowledgment of others?  Think for a minute… when that person gets a promotion or goes onto fulfil the goal they have how will that benefit you?   That doesn’t mean that you don’t do it because it won’t help you but if it interferes it what you should be doing…then you are creating long term damage.  Remember, you can help others carry boulders for you and you can help them but a sensible balance must be retained.    Part of coming into your own is spending quality time building your life vision day after day… minute after minute… second after second.   You can’t come into your own and do what you should if you are lifting boulders for others.

Special Thanks to Alex Blackwell who published this article earlier in the month as part of his series of ‘coming into your own’.

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The problem of perspectives: learning how to identify what lies beneath

In the haziness of everyday affairs we often are blinded by perceptions, beliefs and hidden assumptions. I have been thinking lately about how much of my life is a problem and how much of it I make a problem. What do I mean? Well consider for a moment that a lot of things we think are real problems are actually not ‘real’ as such. They exist in our heads informing of us that which ‘troubles’ us. As British academic Professor Peter Checkland puts it: an area of concern is something we find to be problematic. Sounds real obvious hey? Think about it for a minute.

The problem of causality

What I have noticed is that people often fail to recognise the difference between how we can cause something to bother us and how others can interfere. Think for a moment about this scenario. You are driving home on the freeway and suddenly a man swerves in front of you nearly taking you out. You react by slamming on your brakes and quickly lose control of your vehicle smashing into a nearby concrete wall. That is a real problem. You have been effected by somebody else’s poor driving. Same scenariobut somebody looks like they are going to cut you off and you react because of what might happen but never actually does. Your thinking caused you to respond not really the other drivers actions… although they were the trigger. In this latter example you can see that often in problem solving situations the real problem is your perception of what might happen. A problem is therefore a perspective that is the difference between what we expect (our point of view) and what actually happens.

The problem of perceptions

Perceptions are as real as reality itself. One might go so far to say that perceptions are reality. Hold on, I hear you say, what I perceive is actually real? No. That’s not what I mean. I mean this: what you perceive to be real becomes real by virtue of the fact that you have perceived it. When you understand or recognise a problem to you it’s real. The effects of it will be as real as if the wind blew the roof right off your house!

So what’s the real problem?

The real problem often is in your head. That’s right. You think something might happen and on the basis of that ‘reality’ you begin making decisions. I do this myself all the time. Ever thought of avoiding a social event because you might run into so and so and it would be a disaster only to go and find out it wasn’t. This kind of thing can get so intense that you begin seeing the pictures in your mind… day in and day out. You begin to imagine what might happen and sure enough before you know it you are making new plans to navigate around something that is deeply rooted in your mind.

Problems as perspectives

Problems are essentially ways of thinking (perspectives) that reside in our sub-conscious mental structure informing us of reality. You can begin to recognise them by asking yourself questions that expose them (I will talk about how to remove them in a later post). Things like: ‘Do I want to avoid the social event because it will be a disaster or because I am expecting it to be a disaster?’. See, we often build a reality to believe in just so we can make a place for the things we think are a problem.

I am going to end this post with a personal story. Before I started my present job I was warned about a member of staff by people I was hanging around with at the time. The people I was with told me that this person (called ‘Bob’ to protect the innocent) was not to be trusted and would rip me off. So believing what I was told I avoided them like the plague. However, I was assigned to work with Bob and found Bob to be helpful, courteous and nice. When I eventually told Bob what I was warned about… Bob told me she was worried about me because of the people I was hanging around! Essentially none of this was ‘real’ but it made for a ‘reality’ that become so real that two people were made to feel very uncomfortable and acted out of these beliefs. The real problem was the perspectives we had.

In closing today I want to encourage you to begin to look into your own life for limited perspectives. Once you see them… make a note of them and slowly begin to change the way you see things. I will write more on this so why not subscribe to my feed to see what I have in store. Thanks for reading!

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How your mind affects how you learn

My ideas about things are not the same as yours. As a matter of fact, what you have learned in your life up to this point may be entirely different to what I have learned. For the sake of simplicity, whatever you know about anything (your knowledge) is called you set of ideas. The set of ideas you have about things is very different to the set of ideas I have about things. If you are like me, you came from a background that is ‘working class’ which means the ideas I have about the world are largely shaped by those kinds of values. On the other hand you may be from a background where you had access to resources that were less than mine and you view things very differently to the way I do. The output of your ideas is your actions – that is what you think is what you do. Your thoughts are intrinsically linked to your actions. When you create new thoughts about something, in your mind you have already worked out how you are going to approach it. This is automatic.
For a moment stop and think of a problem you currently have. Write in the space below in one sentence what the problem is.

“…”

Now that you have done that, study the sentence above. What happens when you consider this problem? Did you automatically think of certain kinds of solutions? This is because you have been educated to think this way. Here is an example:

“The problem is my wife hates my guts.”

Some may say, “What have you done wrong? Do you need counselling? Are you getting divorced?” This is because when we are faced with a problem we automatically come up with solutions or an educated guess as to what the answer is likely to be. We have learned nothing! A guess is just that… a guess. Now this is not all bad news, this skill comes in very handy as well shall see later in this book.

As each new thought comes into your mind it gets filters through you’re your set of ideas about the world. Your view of the world will determine how you take action in the world. For example, if you have low self-esteem burrowing it’s way deep into your mind your actions, thoughts and reactions to the world outside will filter itself that perception of low self esteem. When your teacher at school said to you, “you will never amount to anything,” you took that idea and buried it in your mind. I am not a psychologist but I can tell you this – the bible tells us that as a man/woman thinks in their heart so are they. Say for example you are a young go getter looking for a way to improve your standing at work and go for a promotion. If you have confidence and faith in your abilities you are likely to create actions and take initiatives that will give you those kinds of opportunities. If on the other hand you lack confidence despite your abilities you will actively build that kind of reality around you. The people you associate with will support your low self esteem most likely, the job you take will agree with it, the way you interact with others will agree with it and so on. Your mindset of low self-esteem will build a reality around you that is entirely consistent with your thoughts. Another example of how our view of the world affects us is found in the words of our mouth.
Here is an exercise you can do to assess your view of the world, what comes out of your mouth. It is positive? When trouble comes, as to all of us it does, how do you respond verbally? Do you say: “that’s just my luck,” or something like, “Why does it always rain on me”. Why did you say that? You have not learned anything else. The way we see the world through our perceptions of it (deeply built into our subconscious) will negatively or positively affect the image we create. That picture we build of the world are deeply held assumptions about how it operates, what people are like and so on. Here are some examples:

“She’ll be right, mate.”
“What goes around comes around”
“What goes up must come down”
“You will never amount to anything”
“You’re just like your father”
“Everything happens for a reason”

Each one of these points of view holds behind a deeply held assumption about what the person who said it thinks. I would like to call these things ‘imaginations’ . These phrases are things people have built into their mind and are being expressed from their mind as words. An imagination is what I would call a micro view of the world that is held or bound to a certain way of thinking. For example the term, “you are just like your father,” automatically has a negative imagining attached to it. Why is it that being like your father is a bad thing? Maybe your father is a good person and that’s a compliment. This however, is very unlikely given the nature of people to use words to bring people ‘down’ to a certain perception of how they should think or act. The media are especially adept at this because they feed us imaginations all the time to engage with. What news we get, is given to us so we can form an imagination about it and turn it around in our mind. How often do we see a dodgy business on TV and instantly feelings of hatred and judgments immediately made. That imagination has now been built in you and you in turn build it into others by becoming an evangelist for your TV show. You spread the word by going to work and saying: “Did you see that business on TV – what a dodgy operation.”

That particular viewpoint expressed on television now creates a way of thinking about that place. There have been several classic examples of them getting it wrong and almost ruining businesses only to offer a brief apology as a way of operating in damage control. Too bad if it already has cost that business thousands. Why do they do it? They are trying to get you to build an imagination so you can engage with them and agree “what a terrible thing this is.” Every now and then they offer us imaginations to build our thinking on because most of us unfortunately have undeveloped viewpoints about things. That is, we have not learned anything except how to be spoon fed regular doses of whatever we are told. Our view of things is directly related to how we learn because what we do is build what we think on our imaginations of things.

Next time you watch the news ask yourself this question: “What is the news trying to get me imagine?” These things you begin to imagine will become part of the way you begin to view the world. If you grew up with racist parents, the chances are your parents built racism into your view of the world. You may think you aren’t racist but go and walk amongst those of another culture and see what comes out of your mind. You may not walk up to them uttering racist sentiment but in your mind there are ideas floating around that may convince you otherwise. Not that is real learning, breaking the conditions we have been led to believe and getting the experience to challenge our underlying assumptions.

We evaluate things through our view of the world and this gives us the toolkit for building learning skills into our life. How we view things will tell us how things can be learned. If you grew up loving science, you will take a scientific approach to life and usually rely on all things scientific to give you answers. You may use phrases like, “there is a system to everything”. This is an expression of how you think things work. We will call these kind of people “scientific people”. If you are given to this style of learning you will struggle with life because sometimes the answers are not as cut and dry. For example, Henry Ford was a great pioneer but time has shown that his management style is nothing short of abhorrent. Why? Because he saw people as “resources” and not as living beings with a mind, will and emotions. He approached management as a science, when it is more like an unstructured art. Modern works have even urged us to think of our spirit in the workplace which would make poor Henry do flips in his grave. People are not numbers, they are living beings with real families and real personalities. On one hand people are the greatest thing about a business but on the other the biggest enemy.

If your view of the world is less scientific and more open to other views you might be what I call “unscientific” and given to large bouts of intuition. If you are a ‘free’ thinker then you will evaluate everything that comes your way and form your opinions based on what you think is right and perhaps a feeling you have about it. You might be someone who questions everything, especially science and never stop learning. The unscientific approach to management would use techniques found in Semler’s Seven-Day Weekend :

Organizations rarely believe they’re to blame when an employee under performs. But if the organization doesn’t provide the opportunity for success, then people falter. At Semco we accept that every individual wants and needs a worthwhile pursuit in life. It’s up to us to provide the environment and opportunity for their gratification.

This kind of approach to building a workplace is different as the human resources are allowed to be more human. It’s a well-documented success story but it started by breaking the mold and breaking established business rules. The rule breakers are always learning and never accepting common ill-conceived points of view.

We will never land on the moon. What really? Never? People that make these kinds of statements about learning are scientific and evaluate everything objectively in their world view. That world view will only take knowledge from those that know and they will eventually have a head full of other people’s ideas. Every pattern, every notion and every single last idea will fall into what somebody else came up with unscientifically. Learning is unscientific because it takes that which is unknown and tries to make it known. Scientists who were pioneers where the most unscientific of them all. They used faith in every endeavour and relied on personal intuition and vision as well as there academic abilities.

When we learn we are applying the single most unique and profound ability we have – the ability to gain new insights and gain fresh information. If our view of the world tells us we can learn then we can. If we are willing to question the way things are and build for ourselves new mindsets about things (despite the cost) then we can learn. Everyone can learn. As a lecturer in a business school I have found quite often that my students do not want to learn, they want to collect facts, but they don’t want to learn. So often I get smart questions like, “What’s on the exam?” My response to this usually is to tell them precisely what’s on the exam – lots of questions about the things I wanted you to learn. Invariably almost nobody gets what I mean by that.

What knowledge do you need to build upon to get through life? That depends on what you plan to do with it. The primary skill you need to make it is learning. A friend of mine once told me this story about learning:

My boss told me to do a job and I told him I couldn’t do it and he said to me, “Oh well I guess your going to have tell the customer that we can’t complete the job and they won’t get what they have paid for. I said to him that I would go back and try. When I did try I found a way to make it work.”

The problem is we are no longer willing to try and learn what we need to make it in life. Our view of the world tells us we can’t but in fact we can. Students often ask me for answers, I only give them more questions. After a while they stop coming to see me, because they don’t realize or cannot understand that the things I am teaching to them can only be learned by them. If the courses I teach are going to be valuable to them at all then they need to learn the stuff for themselves. I could offer them a standard response and tell them the answer but what have they gained. Where was the struggle for new concepts, the trial and error process? What happened to that? When the objective of learning is to gain an answer, that person has lost the reason they set out to gain insights in the first place. Learning is the gaining of new information about something that you didn’t know before. However, learning comes from and goes to somewhere it’s not purely self-perpetuating. Your learning accumulates.

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How do we learn?

Learning is a core skill that forms the foundation of all kinds of personal and non-personal growth. Broadly speaking there are three main types of learning we need to be aware of (I am aware of many more but I shall concentrate on three). The first is Learning by Rote or put simply learning through study and gaining knowledge through the repetitious memorizations of ‘facts’ found in text books. I personally call this kind of learning ‘surface-level’. For example, when I was school they made us memorize our times tables by heart. Two times two is four, four times four is eight and so on. That is, learning this way is so easy it really only scratches the surface of what learning should be all about. It fails to engage with the deep issues of topic and scraps the surface superficially. My pet Chihuahua can learn things by rote like ‘sit’ by treating them with a reward. The Chihuahua is less than likely to turn to me and ask ‘Why do you tell me to sit?’ certainly not when I have a piece of meat in my hand. It will do it because it will be rewarded for pulling up surface level learning from its brain: “When I sit I get meat”.

Aristotle for example, developed systems of logic that we all know and use in our mathematical induction and reasoning. This kind of knowledge generation or learning is based around the idea that all of our learning capacity as human beings takes place in a logical fashion or by rote. In this case, if one is to trace the history of philosophy (something done better in many different texts on this subject ) there is a clear pattern of embedding logical learning patterns into rote forms. To put it simply, this kind of learning requires you to find the pattern, follow the rules and everything will be alright. If we are learning to screw in a light bulb – technically there is only one way this is going to get done. Screw it in by following the pattern. Such a technical issue requires no textbook exploration or real world conjecture to make it work. Put it in. If the light bulb was fine and you screwed it in ok and it still doesn’t work then there is something electrically wrong with the light bulb. A deeper level of learning is now required.

Conditional Learning

I now need to find someone who knows something about electricity. There is a complex electrical wiring system in the roof that took some planning and understanding to install. If you go into the roof without any knowledge or experience on how that works then you are going to be in trouble. Moving on from this I need some conditional learning that I can use to fix this problem. Now this kind of learning requires me to be able to learn what I am taught and apply to my problem. Returning to our electrician example, I can apply my knowledge to fixing your electrical systems because I have been conditioned that way through teaching.

When I learned what I needed I asked my instructor questions, I tried knew things and eventually learned how electrical systems work. Each wire, I placed in the ceiling I did so according to what I have learned from my training and the experience (rich or poor) that I have at this stage. When your light bulb won’t switch on, there goes your rote learning experience, your problem now has presented with you with a bit more complexity than before. I, as an electrician for example, might climb into your roof and examine the cause of the problem. I am now applying both what I was conditioned to learn (at electrician school) and what I have learned from being an electrician. In short I can fix the problem because I submitted myself to training that allowed me to become an electrician. The same thing is taking place inside universities. You want to be an accountant you have to submit yourself to the conditions that make that possible in order to become that accountant. Conditional learning gives me theories to test out and apply so I can become something predefined. In essence at university you don’t learn something mystical or new, you get fed what they think you need to know. This is predefined by academics who think they know what you need.

I am not being conspiratorial by saying this but you are being conditioned to doctrine. Why? You have exams to pass, a degree to obtain and more than likely a job to get. You had better condition yourself to the theory or else you may never become a professional! Such learning requires an understanding of concepts rather than just memorization. You need to explore ideas a bit here and move within certain boundaries of thought. To put it simply you are gaining theoretical knowledge which is predetermined by the teacher for you to learn. Learn that, and you will do well. Move outside the acceptable boundaries for your conditional learning and you will be in trouble.

An example of conditional learning in Business Schools is the idea that all students must learn statistics in their first year. It’s taken as given that most students need to know statistics because they are going into a world of cold hard facts. This may be true by why make it mandatory? Why condition students to make excellent regression equations when in reality unless they are really, really interested they are more than likely never going to use it. That’s conditional learning. I had the misfortune of teaching statistics for a while at a college and invariably the poor students (those that were there would remember my ineptitude suffered greatly) asked me why are we doing this? After a while I ran out of lies to tell them my standard response was, ‘well you have to’. Why? It’s deemed important by those who run the business school being the “objective” world of business and all. Conditional learning asks no questions tells no lies. Conditional forms of learning, given to us traditionally through our educational systems are largely based on a simplified version of life. Such learning is good when gaining understanding in the basic skills of life but is unfortunately lacking in broader context of the real world where the rules change constantly and very little actually stays the same.

Experiential Learning

A third type of learning that can help us, is learning by experience. Typically this kind of experiential learning relies on the ability to gain new insights into situations through the application of knowledge based on experience. Graham Hancock writes about a harsh experiential lesson in relationship to poverty:
In was in such a fashion, through guilt, that Europeans at a particular moment in history, came to see foreign aid as a vehicle of restitution, of righting past wrongs, of buying pardon.

At some point they had realized, what they did was inhumane – so as the author theorizes – they tried to fix a past wrong. Surface level rote learning never questions why things are the way they are, neither does conditional learning. You don’t see electricians reinventing electrical systems everyday. They don’t have to reinvent systems like that to make it work properly; they just have to apply their learning. Granted conditional learning requires a lot more thinking and is much more subjective (open to opinion and different forms that rote learning) but it’s still limited. Experiential learning on the other hand is simultaneously the most dangerous form of learning and the most interesting.

To learn by experience, requires three key things to work properly. The first is a person with an open mind. Learning only ever takes place when the person learning is willing to open their mind to understanding the thing they are studying. We can learn what they call ‘general knowledge’ by reading and rote learning. If the learner closes their mind when they are trying to gain insights into something they are interested in learning about they will not learn a thing. On the contrary, they will learn what they have preconditioned themselves to learn. A closed mind sees the end from the beginning and does not rest in the process of learning.

The point of learning is to gain new insights into something of interest so how can new insights be gained you already know what you are going to find? Learning by experience shapes the understanding of a situation as a potter shapes the clay because the learner is the one gaining not losing in this situation. With an open mind, the learner can explore the answers and form ideas of what works on the way to finding the knowledge they seek.

Having an open mind

Having an open mind allows the learner to see the possibilities and they will try things the close minded won’t. How many people are told you ‘can’t’ or ‘don’t’ by close minded individuals. Having an open mind automatically gives the learner the opportunity to learn even before anything has started and it gives the learning process a head start. This is because when you want to know how something works, you have to understand it by not only having the theories about it in your mind but also you need to understand the way in which it can be used. A failure to use knowledge in this way produces acceptance of concepts with no ‘proof’. The open minded learner is going to see what works or what doesn’t not blindly but by building on an established set of ideas. What closes our mind is our ideas about certain things and our worldview. This is because it makes us think certain things and contains hidden assumptions that can poison our learning experience. That is another post for another day!

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What is learning?

‘For the first six months we were apart I enjoyed all the things I’d missed. I went to see only movies I wanted to see-not one war picture. I went to the gym when it was most convenient for me. I had a manicure when I wanted a manicure I did what I wanted when I wanted to. I saw all the children constantly. Eventually, I even dated a little. I realized I could get along just fine on my own, the question was, did I want to? Other men left me cold. They all had their routines down pat-every guy had his own personal schtick. At least Jerry had his hair.’ Judge Judy Scheindlin Beauty Fades but Dumb is Forever.

The popular TV Judge provides an interesting example of what I call ‘real world’ learning. After twelve years of marriage the Judge and her husband divorced and she began to see other men. After six months she had realized that she didn’t really want that kind of life, even though we can see above she enjoyed it initially. Over time her learning pointed towards the fact that there was something intangible about her ex-husband that she was attracted to (her words) which drew her back to him. By going through the experience the Judge was able to learn what she really wanted and at the end she knew what it was. Granted there are better ways to learn such lessons but it’s still a key example of how learning in the real world sense is coupled with experience.

Learning is a key skill in solving life problems that forms the cornerstone for all the others. It’s not only the foundation but without it nothing can grow. By definition learning is the ability to acquire new knowledge, through a process or experience. The key point here is that to gain new knowledge, when we are learning, there needs to be the experience of learning. This is the key skill required to build a successful life skill set in individuals. As an education professional I have noticed this skill is something that a majority of business schools tend to shy away from. Indeed academia at large seems more concerned now with standardization that with imparting the principles of learning. Yet we are sending these students out into a workforce that calls for, above everything else, the ability to be able to learn. Why do we continue to do this? So what is learning?

What is learning?

Typically most lifelong learning books refer to learning as the gaining of new qualifications, experience and changing one’s personal education as required. While this kind of definition suits an academic approach to life, it is not entirely consistent with the capability of learning required to make hard and fast changes in the troublesome real world. We do not all have access to the higher levels of education required but all of us can learn. So how do we learn new things? What are the principles that are developed in us as children that shape the way we learn and help us to understand things? In order to understanding how to learn over the length of a life, a basic understanding in learning is required.

In the world of our actions and reactions we learn by applying our knowledge both conscious and subconscious to the situations of concern in our lives. An example of this might be the question: How do I get promoted? There are several answers to this question. First, I might be a political person and make strategic alliances with certain people and perform certain duties for them in order to gain their favour. This is a path of learning I have now set for myself to achieve; I need to know the boss to get promoted. However, what if my boss doesn’t take to me and ignores my actions? What if my politicizing results in me getting fired? I initiated a track of learning, it did not work for me, I now take what I have learned and tell everyone about it. I tell my colleagues “Don’t go being friendly to the boss that will get you nowhere.” The truth is that it didn’t in that case, but if I used the right kind of political muscle it might have worked. Here is the first barrier to learning (discussed in the next learning chapter), logic traps. Whenever I tell myself I cannot learn my mind will think exactly that. Even though my brain helps me to learn it also stops me from doing so.

Learning takes place when I gain new information, knowledge or experience about something I had previously learned about. To learn, I read, I experience and most importantly I gain insights from the world around me. As a learner I want to add to what I know so I can more effectively use it in the world I face around me. This means I have to be actively looking for ways to gain new insights into my surrounds by trying to understand it. So how do I do that? What do I go through to get to that place where I can add new things to what I know? Where does learning begin? You will have to read part 2 to find out!

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