I was playing Wii Baseball the other day and all of a sudden I realised that I could hit the ball. I had what I call a ‘breakthrough’ moment. Prior to that I was swinging and missing… trying and failing. All of sudden the pitcher hurled a fastball at me and BLAM over the fence. I had a breakthrough moment.

You can have your own breakthrough moment

Whenever you are learning anything or just starting out… you are really are crap at it. You know that feeling. It’s like the first time I attempted the guitar. I am no Eric Clapton or Steve Vai but I am getting there. However, I couldn’t hammer on or pull off (or rock for that matter) when I first began. I was struggling more and more each and every day then one … I had a breakthrough moment. I could play that song I couldn’t play without thinking about it. When you are learning something stick with it. Don’t just quit when it gets hard. Push against that until you ‘breakthrough it’ to the other side.

What stops the breakthrough moment

The breakthrough moment is stalled by thinking that you will never get there. Anything is possible to them that believe it is. What’s the difference between a winner and a loser. A winner loses and gets back up again… a loser quits and stays down. One of the best sayings I have heard is this: Never give up, never surrender. If you want to be good at something you have to practice but I can assure you that there comes a moment when you breakthrough.

As for me I am the baseball champion. I smashed a 9-1 game right after a 9-0 game the other day.  Am I unbeatable?  No.  But I am a lot harder to beat now, that I can smack you out of the game before the end of the first innings.  How did I get there?  By playing it until I could time my swing right and pitch at 152km/h.  That’s fast.  The same principle applies to anything you wish to achieve and it’s not that hard to get there.  You can become good at anything by having a winning attitude.  I can assure you that you will ‘breakthrough’ to a place when you become a champion… just like me.

When I left school I had a very bad overall position score (SAT equivalent). So bad that I am not going to tell you how bad it was. Some people know and they may spill the beans but I won’t. Let me just put it this way. In my final year I had eight subjects (let’s say) and I failed six of them. I did so bad that I got the fourth worse score you could get at the time. I was devastated.  Now I am a lecturer.  Remember… if you fail it’s not the end.  Here’s why.

You can come back from anything … except death

As Frank Sinatra said, ‘When I fall down flat on my face, I pick myself up and get back in the race… that’s life!’  You are never so down that you can’t get up.  I know that some people think that a setback is the end.  It’s not.  I can tell you from my life experience that a bad result at school doesn’t mean the end.   What it means for you is that you may have a harder road than most as you pick yourself up BUT you will be all the better for it.   Those that have success without really trying learn a different sort of failure later on.  But that’s another topic. Unless you’re dead, gone and done get up and start again.

If you fall that means you can get straight back up

A man I have come to admire is my father.  That man has had more setbacks than anyone else I know.  Yet whenever he makes a mistake or does something stupid he turns it into an opportunity.  This may sound like a cliche but your greatest mistake so far, can be turned around into your greatest victory.  When I got my bad score I had real sook (as we say in Australia).  But, I realised after a while that life was happening and I needed qualifications to do something to make money.  So I found the worse college in Queensland and enrolled.  The college was so bad that my score was the cut off point!  What if I decided to take no action… I would not be where I am now.  Sure, I’m no millionaire but I am employed by a University Full Time and I handed in some revisions for my PhD thesis last week.  In April (God willing) I will be a doctor.  That’s another post for another day BUT if I can do it, so can you.

So what’s your choice going to be?

Life is full of losers.  Don’t be one of them.  Being a winner takes guts, faith, determination and courage but most of all it takes heart.  When life kicks you in the doodads you have two choices.  You either wind up what you’re doing and go home or you take a lesson from Steve Waugh (a great leader and a former captain of the Australian Cricket Team):

It doesn’t matter how pretty you look it’s how many runs you get. 

In other words: Get up and build a better life.  It’s my prayer that if you read this you will take what I have said to heart and begin to get up, dust yourself off and go on to glory.  I know you can do it.

William Shatner recently found out that he is not in the Star Trek movie.   His response? And I quote, “I couldn’t believe it. I’m not in the movie at all… what a decision to make, since it obviously is a decision not to make use of the popularity I have to ensure the movie has good box office. It didn’t seem to be a wise business decision.” Now there’s a man who knows what he is worth.  What are the hallmarks of a William Shatner attitude:

Know your worth something

How many deadbeats people do you know that just can’t see their own worth?  I am one of them.  What hinders us is our inability to be able to understand the simplest sense of value about ourselves.  What do I mean? You don’t think you are worth anything.  Let me be as blunt as I can.  YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING!

Say what your worth

Don’t wait for someone to say it.  Now, I should say that there is a big difference between arrogance and confidence.  Arrogance is talking out of school about how much you think you are worth.  The difference is factual.  If you know you are good at something say it.  Don’t hold back.  Don’t boast but say what you worth.

Tell others what you worth

Shatner does this expertly he says that the movie won’t succeed without him in it.  Now that’s the kind of confidence you need.  Having this kind of attitude is wonderful as it allows you to have self confidence and a belief in your own abilities that goes beyond what most people consider normal.  I don’t think you speak this out all the time.  Don’t put yourself down because you will believe your own press.

Having a Shatner attitude fulfills the royal law, ‘love others as you do yourself.’  Unless you really like who you are then you won’t like others much either.

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Ever been so tired that you just couldn’t stay awake?  This study shows that sleep deprivation effects our decision making.  How?

When you are sleep deprived your perception of reward versus risk changes

This study shows that our perception of reward changes under sleep deprived conditions.  What does this mean? It means that when you operating under sleep deprivation you are likely to make decisions that have a higher risk value because you think there will be a bigger payoff.  In times of extreme stress we often make decisions that are poorly constructed and use all kinds of beliefs to justify them.   The same goes when you are sleep deprived.  You will see things that aren’t necessarily so.

Sleep deprivation changes your emotional state

I found this out when I became burned out on my last business.  My emotions became clouded and confused to the point where I began making decisions that were clearly not in the best interest of my family or in my best interest.  I remember spending $1000 on email marketing.  I rest my case!  Your underlying emotions will betray you when you are tired and make you feel and think stuff that just isn’t the case.  You will perceive people doing things that they aren’t and make false assumptions.  These assumptions will force you to think and make stupid decisions.

Sleep deprivation gives you afternoon naps

Have you ever eaten a really big meal at lunch only to get tired after lunch and drift off?  Some people I know get away with taking naps at work but I would hazard a guess that bosses don’t like sleeping on the job.  There are those like Ricardo Semler who urge the practice but overall I think it’s frowned upon in work circles.

Sleep deprivation turns you into a clumsy git

Your ability to process information and make good sense of it under sleep deprived conditions is drastically reduced.  Here is Australia we seem to take this as a challenge! Once you get behind the wheel you are no longer responsible for just yourselves but those you may hurt as well.  If you are overly tire, catch the bus or take the day off.  Is it worth having an accident?  I think not.

Sleep deprivation makes you feel lethargic 

A lack of sleep will leave you with a feeling of lethargy.  At work this would make people think you are lazy, a loafer or something worse.  Not only will you feel lethargic but you will look it.  Your non sleep deprived colleagues will say to you, ‘Hey Bob, you look like crap’.  I guarantee that will make you want to get them fired or at the very least spread nasty rumours about them!

Sleep deprivation changes your perceptions of reality

When you are sleep deprived you perception of reality shifts.  I remember one time after a few days of not very much sleep, I began to hallucinate.  When you don’t sleep very well your brain begins to form things in life that may or may not actually be there.  This is a real problem because trying to wave away invisible spiders (as in my case) will not help you make friends or influence people.

Sleep deprivation can cause dizziness 

Being sleep deprived can cause extreme dizziness in some cases.   I remember once after another long week of not very much sleep I began to get so dizzy I could not stand.  I felt sick, lethargic and not to mention confused.

What can I do about it?

So what can we do if we are sleep deprived?  The key thing to remember is that this is in most cases curable by a trip to the doctor or an increase in the amount of physical activity you are undertaking at any given time.   Increasing your physical exercise will help you sleep better and if that’s not your style you can try some visualisation techniques or some of this helpful suggestions in this article.  Some people I know imagine themselves on an island doing something relaxing and bang they are asleep.  There is an emerging debate around If the condition is more serious or perhaps related to post traumatic stress disorder you will need medication to overcome it.  Polyphasic sleep (taking sleep in shorter cycles over an extended period) has helped some people overcome this kind of problem.  This isn’t for everyone either and it may not be for you.

What you need to do is be aware of the fact that you are sleep deprived.  We all have had those experiences in our decision making when we look at something through our weary eyes only to realise a day later that it wasn’t as big a deal as we thought.  What you need to take from this article is an awareness of sleep deprivation and how it effects you.  Make sure you don’t do what I did and waste your money on email marketing… what was I thinking?

Technorati Tags: sleep deprived, sleep deprivation, decisions, stress, beliefs, emotions, sleep, decision making

I was sitting here thinking about the Vmigo game and watching my daughter try and figure out how to play it. I thought about how much she really loves animals and then it occurred to me what do I like doing? A key indicator for doing things in your life that you find interesting is following up on things you like to do. Do you like your job for example? Is there something about it that makes you tick? I haven’t found very many people that like what they are doing. Why is this the case?

I was sifting through my email today and I got a paper back that I have been working on with a colleague. I felt inside that familiar sinking feeling. This all began when I started looking for the ‘Think Different‘ Challenge sent to me by the synergy institute and I will change your life.

So why did I get that sinking feeling… because inside this kind of work no longer brings me the same kind of happiness that is used to. Follow your bliss is a concept meaning that in life you should follow what you want to do, in order to ‘be’ happy. This is not always easy because it involves awakening some things that require courage and work for you to achieve. However, if you don’t do them then what you were truly created for will not come to pass. Hence we have this paradox. Either do what makes you the happiest or o about paying the bills. But is it really a paradox? I think not.

The reality is that my decision not to follow what I want to do, knowing this through inner guidance and intuition, is being held back by the false belief that I need to trade off work for pleasure. Ultimately I can find career fulfillment. In what I do because I can choose to. If I could choose to follow what I feel I should be doing then I will find a level of contentment like no other. When your heart is doing what mine is doing I would recommend following what you like to do. That’s what I am doing and I will let you know how it goes!

Technorati Tags: Think Different‘ Challenge, happiness

I got an email from Tristan at the synergy institute about the Think Different Challenge. A friend of his from I will change your life.com started the idea a few days ago. The rules of the challenge can be found here. In short I have to take something I feel negative about and change my thinking. I picked a person who I think represents a problem I have with authority in my life. I am not overly rebellious neither am I difficult to get along with but I sometimes am very suspicious of people in authority over me. I don’t think one person stands out as being ‘Nazi boss from hell’ and I really think this is a bad belief system that I am holding on to. So, I have decided to think differently about authority and learn to love my boss.

Our thoughts make up our being to a large extent. We are the sum total of what we spend our time thinking about. So, what do I think about authority? Here is a list.

1. I don’t like it

I hate people telling me what to do. Not a bad thing considering I have two failed attempts at business in the can. Yet this is a dominating thought pattern I need to overcome if I am to consider success.

2. I want freedom

Who doesn’t? In me is the inbuilt desire to want to do what I want and not be told by anyone what to do. A good belief to a point but I am employed and I need to respect the rules of that institution. After all they give me money!

3. A host of other reasons…

I think the majority of it can be explained by my heritage. My dad hates authority. There some excuses. Now for the real deal.  I am going to take this guys advice and avoid procrastination!

How do I change my perspective to allow me to have a better relationship with authority? I learn to love my boss. Firstly, what is it about my boss that I don’t like? Him or the position he holds. I thought he was a great bloke until he got the job. Now, I need to, in my mind, separate the position from the person and attempt to think in the same way they do. I start by surfacing my hidden assumptions about authority and deliberately challenging them. So here goes:

1. My boss rules me with an iron fist

Does he? How many times a day does he tell me what I can and can’t do? Only when he has to because he is being paid to. You would be surprised the amount of general and upper level managers are putting on the game face at work. I often talk to people in these positions and most of the time they are just doing what they think they should be in accordance with the wishes of management. They are playing a role and for this reason are under a lot of pressure. As a defense mechanism they are resorting to control because it’s there responsibility to. Is this personal… not likely so I can’t believe my boss is Hitler I have to move on.  This next one really stretches my comfort zone but here we go.

2. My boss is stealing away my freedom of expression

Really? Is your freedom of expression relevant to what you are being paid to do? Maybe you chose the wrong job and your boss isn’t the problem. My freedom of expression is only relevant to what my job is. If my job requires no freedom of expression then why should I be ‘free’ to use it? My perspective should be I am here to do the job I was paid to, not create a new job for which the boss isn’t paying me. I can do ‘me’ things when I have the ability to support myself. When I signed the contract that was it! I can bring my creative expression to my set tasks or make them better but this is not the place to get cute with creativity. I have a contractual obligation! Don’t burn out on it and quit your job because you will find the assumption following you to your next job if you do.

3. I have a problem with authority

Why? This is because in your brain you think authority is a bad thing. Authority is a good thing. Why? Imagine if your house caught fire and you wanted it put out but you needed to give permission to the fire brigade. Say you are being beaten and because there are no police officers you never get your case heard. What if the laws that are designed to protect your rights don’t work and your house is taken away. What then? What you are really saying is: I don’t want authority in my life I want it all my own way. Being under submission to other people is a good thing in the right circumstances. Remember, whatever you do that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

4. My boss never hears what I say

Really? Your boss never pays attention to you? That is a good thing! If your boss is watching you it’s because you are a problem. Managers only solve the problems they are engaged with. They delegate everything they can because it helps them in their jobs. Chances are your boss doesn’t want to hear what you have to say because you are not in his/her engagement space. People only ever solve the problems they have to because people perceive things to be problematic. That is, problems are perspectives.  A person in management is under pressure to make decisions, perform lots of boring routine tasks and make difficult and complex decisions.  Your issue is probably not as important as the one that they are currently engaged with.

These are the four key assumptions in my life that I challenged and you know what… I feel better already.   To do this for yourself find a negative thing you don’t like and write down the hidden assumptions it’s built on.  Then systematically challenge those negative assumptions by building positive alternatives.  Over time as you gently reinforce these positive assumptions they will come to replace the negative ones.  Tie your imagination to the process and see yourself being happy with the problem.  See yourself coping.

I hope you have enjoyed this article.  To learn more about the thinking differently challenge.  Click the link below.

Technorati Tags: thinking, belief system

Each one of us whether we realise or not has something special to offer. I often struck with surprise when I look at the general population of my students as I tell them they had better be sure the career they choose is something they know they can do. Consider for a moment that you may not know enough of yourself to understand that you are actually attracted to certain things and just plain hate others. For example, I hate doing day to day routine things like paper work. Yet I recognise it as being extremely necessary to keep myself employed. What I get a thrill out of is doing creative things like writing, brainstorming and so on. That’s because I have an underlying stream of creativity that flows through me. That creativity is somehow infused into my being.

In a previous post on emotions I spoke of the need to look at the underlying nature of emotions and how they come out of us on a day to day basis. In that post I drew the analogy that people will not often come to you and say, ‘I am angry at something that happened in the past so I am going to take it out on you if you don’t mind.’ People get angry for whatever reason and you become the victim of it. The same thing goes for people who act as extroverts in social groups. They have been seen as ‘extroverts’ because that’s a central underlying part of their being flowing out of them.

So what’s different about you?

It has been said that we are all the same and there is nobody who is special. I believe this to be true but for a different reason. Everybody has something different about them that makes them ‘unique’. The connotation of something special means that you have some kind of status that makes you better than the rest. You are no better or worse than anyone… we are all in the same boat. Money, sad to say, does not make you a better person. Quite often it makes you much, much worse. There is however, a side to you that makes you entirely different from those around you. What makes you special is the fact that you have something different than people who are around you. That difference is what makes you an individual and it’s something you need to nurture.

The Mask

What you are really like is often sheltered under a mask that you were to make people think something about you. If you want people to think you are a certain way then you will wear a mask. I really saw a part of the Mask movie in which the main character is asking a psychologist advice about this mystical mask he has found. The psychologist uses the mask as a helpful metaphor to understand the reality of how we pretend in our social interactions. That pretending we do hides the real us from people. What makes us different or special is something that is underneath that. Here is an example in my own life.

When I sit down to write something I often don’t plan it out. I don’t need to worry about it because it writes itself. The fiction project I have on this website for example I wrote one page at a time by sitting down and just letting it flow through my imagination.  That’s me.  That may not be you.  You may be like my sister in law and be completely into administrative things.

The bottom line

The bottom line of course is that you should not do things you should not be doing.  Despite the grammatical errors in that previous sentence it is worth repeating.  If you are involved in something that is contrary to your nature you will eventually find yourself confused, frustrated, annoyed and angry.  Don’t burn yourself out.  There are some things that are stepping stones but if you take a position that is not going to teach you something, or help you reach your goals, then you will wind up miserable, frustrated and annoyed.  Just don’t do it.  You have something in you that makes you special.  It makes you different from those around you.  Find out what it is.  Find out what your underlying talents are and develop them day by day.  Practice them, dream about them, believe them into existence.

I want to repeat myself here because I think there are a lot of unfulfilled people in life.  You will not find peace in your life until you begin doing what you know you should be.  You can change and yes it’s not late or too early.  Don’t do what you think you should, find out what you are really like and go towards that one step at a time.  After all, you are special in some way.

Technorati Tags: career, creative, being, talents