This week I had to go to a choir thing for my eldest daughter.  Now, it was ok, given that these things are usually quite long and are a test of ones endurance.  I couldn’t see my daughter except for her forehead and watching the other children made me somewhat annoyed.  I was cheered up though by the choir conductor.  He was right into it.  Waving his hands like a maestro, controlling sounds, shifting the mood of the choir and so on.  Then the song which American or Australian Idol (don’t care which – don’t watch it) brought back to our minds: I Believe I Can Fly. He was right into this one.  Moving, dancing, swaying, arms waving around etc.  Then during the middle of the song, at the height of it’s power and tension, he turned to the crowd and motioned for us to sing along with the typical ‘C’mon!’ gesture.  Nobody moved or sang a single note.  We sat there, no doubt looking for our children and ignoring Mr Enthusiasm.   Me being the completely backwards lack of social skills type starting laughing uncontrollably.

After I calmed myself down two very important lessons came mind.

1. If you are enthusiastic about something people will see that passion and associate it with you in the future.
2. If you are enthusiastic about something and others aren’t… they will still remember but probably for another reason.

I appreciated this mans enthusiasm.  You have to love what you do.  It’s sad so many of us don’t.  But yes, I won’t forget the poor crowd reaction to his ‘c’mon’ gesture.  At some stage I need to remember what I am enthusiastic about… do you?

This past semester I added a new reading to a course I designed called information policy and governance about how policy makers have problems with ‘nesting’.  In short the idea of nesting refers to how we make a big decision then allows every decision from that point forward to made using the same way of thinking.   An example is thinking about a major change in your life.  Do you take the plunge or stay on track?  If you nested… you would make the change look like a change but in reality you would be keeping the same old pattern moving along.  That’s nesting.

There are times when we nest, that we are doing so for many (no doubt) mental reasons: security, comfort, shelter and whatever else you can think of that makes you nest.  Often you will hear sports stars talking of how the ‘knew’ it was time to go.  I think sometimes they actually mean they realise the signs of change and they acknowledge the time to move on, mind you if they have money to do it, it does make the decision somewhat easier doesn’t it?

What happens to nesters?

I have a theory about that.  Nesters may be the people that die with the music still in them.  The grumpy old people you see who complain all the time, or the middle aged who whinge and complain about the state of the life or the young who know somehow that something is wrong and can’t work out what.  I don’t know.  What I know is that when I nest, I get grumpy, I stall, my personal development becomes endless reasoning to think through a problem that isn’t properly structured or designed for me to solve.  In essence, whether in our policy-making or personal lives when we nest – our growth comes to a grinding halt.

How do we break from a nesting cycle?

I would think that when we ‘nest’ our development cycle is stuck on repeat.  However, it may not always be the case.  You may need a few years of no growth in order to recover from a long period of sustained growth or alternatively it may be a lifestyle choice.  In that sense, nesting isn’t always bad.  It can be dangerous in some cases though to remain stagnate.  Especially when the pressure and the drive to grow is showing itself.

A key skill is recognising the time to change is when you know it and don’t do it.  A strange feeling of cognitive dissonance waves over you (well it does for me)… you can sense it intuitively.  For me your inward emotions are saying, ‘it’s time’ but your head is full of fear and worry.  Here’s where courage and common sense meet.  A hard place, but one that you have to move on if you are committed to personal development.  So the answer?  You have to commit to change.  The pain of not changing versus the pain of changing?  Which pain do you choose… because doing nothing is still a choice.  In short, you need to follow it through when you can and rely of serendipity and faith to provide the rest.  Plans are a great place to start… but random categories of action is even better!

In closing the Sunday afternoon post, I would like to you to examine yourself.  Are you nested or nesting?  If you are then is it productive to do so?  Is it the right thing for you right now?

Here is an interesting post on how you can improve you life scientifically:

25 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Yourself Smarter

Worth a look… hey at least for me… I need this!

Obscurity, the curse of being a person who is isolated and without connection.  Did you know that you may only be six degrees of seperation away from someone of real influence?  Probably, BUT I bet you didn’t know that you can build a wall around yourself that makes you feel like you are the only one who knows something about something.  Well, I can say that through this blog I have learned that you aren’t the only that knows something about something.  Others do and chances are they may be equally as interested as you in finding that stuff out.

How do we box ourselves into obscurity?

The way I did it, was primarily through three ways.

Way # 1 – The language we use

A colleague pointed out to me the other day that I had reduced my potential on the academic market 400% (not his words mine) because I kept referring to the work I was doing as methodology rather than applicability.  He encouraged me to use more general terms accepted by the wider community and find more acceptable language to promote myself.  So instead of saying, “conceptual frame shifting” which is academic language I could use, “changing your perspective”.  Now my audience of interest is about 400 times wider than it was before.

Way # 2 – Having  a bad attitude

Another thing that I did which boxed me into obscurity was the idea that everyone didn’t have a clue… but me.  This is stupid.  You are not the only person who knows something about your area.  Chances are, you feel alone and rightly so in some cases… maybe even out of place.  However, you are the not the only one.  A paper I wrote recently was published in a journal that most people, or so I thought, didn’t really read.  After it was published I received several emails from people all over the world saying how the core idea of the paper was helpful to them.  They were from agricultural science, information systems, technical and management backgrounds to name just a few.  Now, I never thought I would ever get an email from anyone about anything I had written, let alone someone in agricultural science!  The people are out there, you just have to patient and look for them.  Most people are not going to hunt you down,  you have to find them.

Way #3 – Refusing to network

This one is particulary hard for me because I am not an out-going person.  I don’t like going to parties and I certainly don’t like swapping business cards!  That’s me.  However, if you want to work with interesting people you have to build bridges here.  It’s hard, but the world is not external to us, we made, co-create and develop it.  Without people there are no partnerships, no buildings, no work, no progress … only nature!  Now unless you worship the sun or don’t need a network to take your ideas and use them, then you need to find partners to work with.    This is hard but the fact of the matter is people support other people, there is no magic here, it’s a simple matter of maths!

There are many more things we do to box ourselves into obscurity.  However, these are the ones that I have used and more recently realised were attitudes that were hampering my development.  I have to be honest here and say more often than not, I will avoid people.  BUT I am learning and getting better at this, and I hope you are too.