The Hall of Awesomeness

So why are you interested in saving money? Perhaps you are a cause driven person who wants to save the world or maybe you are greedy and want more money. Either way you want more money? This book isn’t for you because we are going to talk about how to squeeze the ever-lovin’ life out of what you have now. More than that, we are going to give a handful of techniques that we have found useful over the years. The book is free so it didn’t cost you anything because it’s on the internet. There is no cost except that of time which doesn’t exist anyway so sit down and read this you might learn something. If you didn’t – well who cares – go on overspending this book wasn’t for you anyway. If you want to read on then do so. The choice is yours.

Squeeze Every Dollar?

Life is no fun when you have watch every last dollar you spend. On the other hand when you don’t measure or even try to understand your spending habits you don’t have enough of it to go around. So what do you do? Living like a tight wad brings you constant worry and misery yet spending freely gives a mountain of debt. So what’s the answer?

To start with the most financial advisers say a budget is the answer. This article will not tell you any different. However, the budget is only one-half of the overall process – you actually have to manage what you spend in order to live according to the budget. That is, a budget is a guideline for what you plan to spend – actually following it is the hard part. There are many ways to get around following it (the credit card for example) but most of them will only bring a level of pain that is unbearable. Further, do you really want to be in debt for the rest of your life? I am sure you don’t. If you then you need a punch in the face.

So what can you do?

Consider the principles in this article. Most people are amazed when they here that you can live on a budget and spend less money. There are no get rich quick schemes in this book – only a collection (about 10 so far in this edition) of things that work well for us and hopefully they will for you. Again if you want a get rich quick scheme join the countless number of growing morons who play the lottery. If you want to take control of what you have and little by little get better at it then come consider the principles discussed in this book. This book is not designed to replace sound financial advice and if you wish to invest put your money in the hands of a professional. This article is not intended to tell you how to live and how to use your money. It is primarily designed to help you understand ‘tactics’ used in budgeting. There are no success stories, no ‘opt in’ schemes or even advertising. Just plain and simple home spun truths about budgeting. So what will this book help you with?

Helping you to help yourself

Most people rely heavily on second hand information that is pumped to them by well meaning but seriously wrong individuals. Seminar after seminar and book after book come along that tell us how to save money. Study these things carefully. Almost always they start with the concept of ‘budgeting’. I wonder why they do that? Perhaps it’s because budgeting is actually something you may need to do in order to save money. If you took budgeting out of the equation imagine the kind of seminar you would have. Something along the lines of “Spend as much as you can and don’t think about it” or “You’re an idiot – take your money and waste it”.

This article will help you to help yourself. I cannot come to your house and sit around your coffee table and tell you how to budget. If we did you may be offended when we offer you simple yet effective ideas such as ‘go on a diet’ or ‘quit sucking down those cancer sticks’. That is not the point. The point is you probably have a budget but you’re not fulfilling it are you. Its one thing to come to the point of saying I can do this but it’s entirely another to get to the actual point of having the money and being diligent to do that. Even then will you do it? What if you can’t?

Here’s where this article comes in handy. We are all about what you actually spend not how to make an effective budget. Most people don’t know it but if they changed certain things about themselves they could save money. It’s the habitual nature of spending that we are interested in. Of course we will run you through the basics and discuss the issues of budgeting. However, that is only the beginning. Hopefully by the end of the next section you will begin to see that what you budget for and what you spend are entirely different. The two should not only be comparable but they should be absolutely 100% the same.

Now disaster strikes and you can’t help that. That is not what we are saying here. Families are ruined by the foul disease of cancer on a regular basis. There is precious little you can do when disaster strikes but you may find some of the tactics in this article useful if you are unfortunate enough to be in that situation. The point of this article is to lay out some guerrilla tactics for smart budgeting that have helped me. We have had disasters but are we bankrupt? Not in the least. Are we millionaires? No but why would you want to take advice from someone about using hardcore budgeting tactics who are rich? Well they made the money by diligently following a seven-step plan. Please. Nobody has the right to have a billion dollars and they cannot say they earned it. At this point all of the rich people reading will be saying ‘well I worked 190 hours a week for 10 years and I think I’ve earned it thank you’.

No you haven’t. You have simply benefited from a good idea that had mass appeal. Sure you had to work hard but so do coal minors. Do they have the right to be millionaires too? Consider Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and others. No doubt they are hard workers but have they really earned the billions they have? How exactly do you earn a billion dollars? By scrimping and saving? Goodness no. Bill Gates was just the right man at the right time with the right idea. Sure there was a whole lot of energy behind that idea and that played a part. But ultimately you wouldn’t take advice from him on how to save money – he doesn’t need to save a thing! You need information from a scrapper like me who watches his money like an owl.

If you wanted to learn about rocket engineering you would go see a rocket engineer. If you wanted to learn about philosophy you would go see a philosopher or at least read the idiots guide (or dummies guide there are no paid references here!) to philosophy. If you wanted to learn about being tough with money and living the Hardcore Budgeting lifestyle you would talk to people who do it on a regular basis. That’s us. Ultimately though we would like for everyone to read this book because it may just open your eyes to the bad habits you have formed over the years and help you to understand where you are going wrong. Sit back, grab a coffee (beer or whatever it is that you like to drink – provided it was budgeted for) and lean not on your own understanding but listen as we tell you the principles of Hardcore Budgeting.

Budget Fundamentalism

The place to start with your money is your budget. If you have read any kind of ‘how-to’ guide on money saving this is place most of them start. Why do they do that? Because you need a guideline on how to spend your money. The budget is the template that sets the pattern for your spending habits. If this is wrong then how you spend your money? I was watching Oprah the other day and I almost vomited in terror when I saw people amazed at budgeting. You stupid people. My goodness – what the hell is wrong with you? Wake up before it’s too late. Here in Australia statistics from the recent census point toward the fact that 90% of people in Australia earn 50k or less.

Most of the wealth in this country points towards the fact that most Australians do not have enough money. What about other countries? In the US it is reported by the top 40% of all wealth is distributed amongst 1% of people with the next 22% distributed amongst 4%. So what does this mean? I am not one to place great faith in statistics but we can learn from using them. What does this tell us? It tells us the majority of the so-called western world has to watch what they spend. If they didn’t the statistics would reflect a different situation. It would reflect a world where wealth is evenly distributed and we would all have enough. Wake up – go to the dumps around the Philippines – tell me that there is not enough for those people. Of course there is – it’s just not being shared.

This is no anti-capitalist rant. Just a wake up call. A call to be hardcore with your finances. Do not let your money slip through your fingers and wind up in the hands of people that will only use it to buy a yacht. If you have a certain amount and you are forced to live like that – it need not be that way forever. You need to become a fundamentalist. Now I am not out to offend anybody but fundamentalists and extremists of all cultures have one thing in common – committed, unwavering and complete blind faith in their cause. Just like fundamentalists hold there cause close to there heart I am telling you to hold your budget like it was your birthright.

So how do you become a budget fundamentalist? There are Ten Commandments you must follow in order to be a budget fundamentalist. Let’s see what they are.

Budget Fundamentalists Eight Commandments

1. Thou shalt love thy budget with all thy mind, all thy soul and all thy strength

Your budget represents your holy writ and the foundation of your cheapskate faith. A failure to love and hence place your budget in a place of worship gives you the right to spend. Make a budget and love the budget.

2. Thou shalt not deviate from the budget but shall meditate on it day and night

What right do you have to not follow your budget? Stupid people like you are the reason why debt levels are at record heights. Once written follow this simple creed and do not deviate from it.

3. Thou shalt have no other budgets, slush funds or anything else that allows you to deviate from your budgets.

Make one budget and use it in building a template for your finances and deviate not from it lest the evil ones (the banks, the phone companies) rock you of your substance.

4. Thou shalt be realistic with thy budget

Make a budget that is realistic if you have $1 coming in divide it as many ways as the budget allows. Do not plan for more than you have.

5. Thou shalt not misuse the budget lest thou be smoten

One of the most common mistakes in budgeting is to make a budget and then modifying it to suit your poor spending habits. As far as being a budgeting fundamentalist is concerned this is a big sin. You will find that you will be hit from behind by anyone you owe debt to.

6. Remember the budget to keep it holy yet be flexible …

Do not allow the budget to stay the same if things need to be changed. Change it if the circumstances require it. When the money dries up the true nature of budgeting is exposed and then the challenge becomes harder and harder. Keep it close to your heart at all times yet in your budgeting be sensitive to change it AS REQUIRED.

7. Thou shalt ignore the experts

Money people who give advice on money have money. Let me tell you something. I would bet the farm they didn’t get there by successfully budgeting at all – if they did – good luck to them. Several of these so called experts have companies and made there money through taking extreme risks with other peoples money. Don’t believe me find out for yourself. Not only that but they are speaking to people who already have money. One of my favourites: “invest the difference between your rent and mortgage.” What! That would mean I have the money in the first place.

8. Die to thyself

The apostle Paul tells us “I die daily”. Although he is discussing the lusts of the flesh you should take a leaf out of his book (please don’t tear up a bibles I am speaking metaphorically). Ignore urges to break the budget and all costs. At the end of the day that couch or stereo system may rock but if it comes at the expense of your freedom later was it worth it. Die to yourself and DO NOT MAKE THAT PURCHASE.

The most useful way though is to grab a piece of paper and write down two headings. The first is income. What goes in. The second is what comes out. A sample budget would look like this one:

This example shows a very simple budget from Openoffice. Although these headings are fairly generic you get the idea. This forms the central part of Hardcore Budgeting. Read and study these commandments above and live by them. By doing so you have are now through the first part of your training. The second major area of training is tracking what you spend.

Tracking What you Actually Spend

Once you have a budget to live by you must now make sure you meet it. The first thing you need to do is to track your spending by seriously analysing it. One of the major flaws in the area of most budgeting is the lack of discussion around this area – a budget is only one third of the process. The second third is tracking what you actually spend. This is difficult in most circumstances but you must do it. Failing to do it will only result in your budget not being met which in turn will result in your being without the money for the things that really matter.

It’s easy for me to sit here sipping tea wearing a cape from my secret hideout telling you to be disciplined. The keys to discipline when money is involved are not that easily understood or implemented. So I must digress for a moment and introduce this quickly. The dictionary that comes with firefox (I love firefox) defines discipline:

Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behaviour, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

Training is what I am giving you. Learn from me. The keys I am going to share with you form the second part of your training. I have tentatively called this:

the Five Disciplines of Hardcore Budgeting.

Discipline 1: Master Bad Spending Habits

Bad spending habits ruin families. For this reason most families find themselves overwhelmed with debts. It could be that you have been like me and just had a series of unfortunate events. Your dog got cancer, the car broke down, sick children or just got a huge tax bill. I am not talking about that. I am talking about consumerism at its worst. I am talking about spending money that you simply do not have. How do you know if this is a problem for you? Here is a tip. Take a look at your budget and compare it with some receipts – what is it you see. To narrow. Here are some other danger signs that you are sucked into bad spending habits:

You have more than one credit card.

This means you cannot control what you spend. How is it you need more than one. Like I said earlier I am not talking to people who have had the circumstances of life destroy their goods. I am talking about people who are compulsive spenders. Stop it. You didn’t need that extra credit card you only needed what you have to eat and live a decent life. We have some tips in the final section to help you out. Please – if you want to spend money on some thing you want – make sure you have it. If you don’t at some point it is going to come back to bite you in the worse way possible – right on the buttocks. Do not treat your credit card as an extension to your paycheque.

You have plenty of stuff but no rent.

If you are one of these people then you fallen foul of the evil beast called consumerism. You have stuff that you like but it’s time to pay the rent! You have no more money to pay the rent – what happened to you? Get your priorities right budget for what matters then use the rest the way you want.

Your fun happy time is shopping

Do yourself a favour – get on a bus and go find some homeless people – spend a week with them. I guarantee if you keep spending that’s wear your headed.

Do you need to borrow money for unnecessary things?

If this is you then consider this – the person you are borrowing from is supporting you because you are compulsive spender. You need to get some help before it’s too late. Again, I am not interested in hearing your excuses. Stop spending other people’s money!

Discipline 2: Never pay full price.

One thing that bothers me is that most people can receive an item and a much cheaper price if they are willing to look. Our impatience combined with our lack of knowledge leads us into making purchases that are just plain crazy. For example, did you know that you can get a discount at most department stores on white goods just by asking? Some stores have promotions saying never pay full price – especially on white goods. Always ask for a discount if they offer it and even if they don’t. Test me in this and see if I am wrong – You will be surprised at the results.

Discipline 3: Forecast you’re spending

It is all well and good to say follow these steps and be successful but how do you know what will happen tomorrow? That’s where forecasting comes in. Forecasting is simply seeing what the future of your finances looks like. Ultimately it’s entirely up to you what you spend your money on. But if you are disciplined to Master your bad spending habits you will do well. However, knowing ahead of time what is likely to come gives you some idea of what to expect. That way you can see ‘what’s down the road’.

Discipline 4: Constantly analyse what goes in and what comes out

The second hardest part (next to discipline 1) of budgeting is the rigour involved in understanding the flow of your money. By flow I mean what goes in and comes out. This can be likened to the flow of water in the bath tub. When the water flows in and the bath is full all is well yet if I pull the plug the water drains out. Alas my bath is gone. In order words – what goes in must come out – Einstein had something to say about this. If what goes in doesn’t come out they you will have no idea of what goes where to whom it went and why it is doing so. Analysis of your flow gives you an understanding of where all that cash is going. Follow this rule carefully and you will begin to see the lies of your spouse revealed. Be firm but fair.

Discipline 5: Practice all the disciplines in harmony

Keeping one of these points is not enough you must practice them all. For goodness sakes it’s a system!

The point of Hardcore Budgeting

The final part of the training is to consider the point of Hardcore Budgeting. This is something you need to seriously think about and get deep down into your spirit. Take this creed and understand it after many hours of studying it in your mind:

Where you are now is direct result of your past but where you want to be in the future is entirely up to the decisions you make in the present.

I am not promising financial freedom but I am promising that if the majority follow these principles you will be on your way. It has been my understanding that most people spend more than they earn. Along comes an increase and what do they do? They adjust up to that increase without a second thought. You don’t have to! Why not stay low for a while – reduce some of that debt load – and get freedom sooner. Look at your kids and tell them you can’t take them to Seaworld or somewhere like that. It’s most likely because you spent $50 a week on beer. Forget the beer! Think of your future. You may only be here for another five years what kind of legacy are you going to leave your children? One of debt?

The point of Hardcore Budgeting is simple: spend what you earn and where possible spend less. You can spend less if you wanted to. You just don’t want to – neither can you. Hardcore Budgeting is not for the faint it’s for the strong – those that call that which doesn’t exist as though it did. Those that dare to have a vision and follow it to the letter. Hardcore Budgeting principles are the foundation that you can build your future on and they will help you get there. The final discipline is building a vision for the future. Where do you want to be? Reduce what you spend now and you can to get there faster. The next section will show some techniques (10) that will help you see what I mean.

10 Hardcore Budgeting Techniques

1. Buying treats

When spending on things you like (provided it’s budgeted for) look for the item on sale. What is life without treats? What is the point to life if you can’t enjoy the wonderful things of this earth? You can enjoy them just shop around first. If it’s not on special this week wait until next week then buy it. If not then they WAIT. You can have what you want but wait until it’s at the price you can get it at. Don’t waste money… wait it will get cheaper.

2. As it is written so shall it be done …

Don’t give into to weeping children, your wife, your mother, your father, the dog, the cat or the rat. Never break the budget unless it is 100% necessary. If it is then necessary to break the budget do so gently as you would break in a horse for the first time. Take it slowly – otherwise a domino effect ensues and before you know it all that hard work into building a ‘supreme’ budget goes out the window.

3. Buying clothes

So you want some new clothes … but you don’t want to spend any money on it. Go to second hand stores and check it out. So what if somebody died in it. What do you care? You didn’t know them. I have heard all the excuses … ‘ooh I don’t like wearing clothes that dead people have worn’. GOI (get over it) and do it. It will enable you to prosper.

4. Get rid of useless habits

Smoking? Drinking? Taking drugs? Oh you were born with the moron gene I see. Here’s an exercise why not take a plate of money, burn it then eat the ashes. You know where that money is going to end up, IN THE TOILET. Go get help, get what you need to get you off that habit be it: deliverance, medicines, treatments, programs and whatever else you can get your hands on. Do it before the habit consumes either your life or money.

5. Check out online ‘clearance’ houses for electronics

Overstock.com is a good example of this kind of thinking. Compare amazon’s new price with overstocks price. You will be pleasantly surprised. Likewise you can get new things at reduced prices from ebay quite often which means you have more money for other things.

6. Entertaining Children

One thing I have found about my own children is that you can give them things they want and spend packets or you can spend time with them and make them happy. They come to you and say ‘daddy I want this barbie’ you go to lifeline and wherever else and get them a crappy one. How will they know the difference? If they do you tell them when they are old enough they can pay for their own toys. Harsh? Maybe. But consider this – how many of those toys you buy them year after year wind up not being played with. You know I’m right.

7. Bank fees.

I don’t know about you but I am sick of paying bank fees. All the time all I ever do is fork over money to these people and what do I get in return? I get this: ooh please mr. bank man take my money and spend it so you can get rich then charge me for the priviledge, If your bank charges fee – screw loyalty – shop around find one that doesn’t. In Australia several of the smaller players have reduced fee structures so much so that often it is more than a little cheaper to switch.

8. Paying off debts

One of the most amazing things I see time after time is people who have the capacity to reduce debt and don’t take it. I should hit you upside the head! Those of us that are trapped will come to your house and beat you with wooden sticks! For example I knew someone a while ago who is in sales – we shall call his name Snrub. Snrub got lucky and made quite a few sales. He then went and had a big night out. Snrub missed a great majority of his bills, mortgage and credit card payments by doing this. Shame on Snrub. When you get the opportunity take it – because making the minimum payment is doing the bank a favour and not you. Jokes aside in Australia at least there a plenty off good tax breaks available through salary sacrifice and a bunch of other things. Seek them out.

9. Taking holidays

Take a holiday (if you can) when nobody else does. Hotels are often desperate during this time and will significantly reduce their price structure. You can use online services like whatif.com in Australia to drastically reduce the amount you will pay because of last minute reservations. Research this, it’s well known secret but you can save money.

10. Working out the sales pattern

In Australia there a major times where stocktaking is on. For reasons not known to me there are two major sales times. End of the financial year and post-Christmas sales. Study the patterns in your area looking for the word ‘stocktake’ and you will be surprised by the amount of money you can save.

Where to from here

This article is not about ‘financial’ freedom, neither is about living life according to some rich economists idea of budgeting. It’s about life. Like this website is about life. The truth is while we live in the hope that one day we will have money… we will never get there unless we watch what we spend. This is hard and it takes some practice but like most things you can achieve it if you set your mind on it and believe you can do it in your heart. Remember the golden rule of hardcore budgeting: Love your budget as yourself .

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