There is a dog, a proud member of the canine species called the Chihuahua. Some of the uneducated call these wonderful creatures, ‘rats’ or some such pejorative, which portrays the Chihuahua as ugly or evil. There are big raggedy dogs, loyal but stupid, that most people cling to as if they were Lassie or a member of the four-legged elite. They lick you and jump around as if they can’t work out you are right in front of them and to a certain extent they are lovable..two full stops here! Yet there is only one Chihuahua. This breed stands as the most wonderful and loyal of all companions a man or woman could have.
I remember a dog that was in our family, owned by the most annoying of all relatives, that was large, ungainly, smelly and loud. When you saw him for the first time in a while, he would rush at you wagging his tremendous tail, knocking over vases, cups, small children and whatever stood in reasonable distance. He was clumsy and would overpower you with his weight for that bizarre licking ritual that big dogs like so much. When that happened you would wind up being covered in saliva, waving your arms about like a helpless moron and wondering why you made the journey to said relatives place in any case. To say that big dogs are ugly and annoying is not fair because you can’t blame the dog for its form. You just have to except it. And yes, a big dog is very loyal (Loyalty, a quality absent from most organisations and sadly from most people) but the Chihuahua offers more than any of the other species of dog.
You could be under attack by a swooping bird (and I have been many times) or a Doberman and at the risk of all that is reasonable or even ‘worth it’ for most dogs, your Chihuahua would come running at the speed of light to ‘save’ you from the would-be assailant. I remember once that my late Chihuahua attacked a dog at least twenty times his size, only to be picked up in the bigger dogs mouth and spat out, simply because he felt his owner was threatened. When my first child was brought home, he sat there faithful watching over to make sure nobody could come near her, he was her ‘protector’. Such is their loyalty, they will defend you and be there no matter what, even if it means their own hide.
Many years ago I used to have the privilege of visiting a farm for horse riding. I was very lucky considering that people in my socio-economic class were lucky to even see a horse let alone sit on one. I remember that the lady, a close friend of my mothers, had a little Chihuahua named ‘Garlic’. A horse was taken by this little dog and thought it a novelty and placed its giant nose over the dog to see what it was. I was surprised when the small, three-kilogram, dog jumped up and bit the horse squarely on the nose. The horse was so shocked that it took two steps backward in utter dismay at the small creature that had dared to bite him. Not only is the Chihuahua loyal, but they have attitude. Most dogs are dumb, sad to say, and will run around chasing Frisbees or copulating with anything that looks even remotely doable. A Chihuahua, despite the relative size of its brain, is cunning. You only need to realise that they can make you believe that it’s your fault for biting a horse, that you know this to be true. If the little dog could speak it would have said,
‘I’m sorry but what the hell was the horse doing near me anyway, this is my space not his!’
Another thing a Chihuahua brings to a relationship is a sense of knowing which assholes not to let into your life. They are excellent at detecting people of poor character. I remember one time my aforementioned dog (may God rest his soul), would constantly attack a woman that would visit. For no reason in particular, he would launch and begin biting her furiously[1]. My wife and I were left with no idea as to the reason for this violence. (Perhaps she wore a scent that made him think). Then a few years later, through the grapevine, we found out that she had abandoned her husband and taken to sleeping around with more than one person, and left him largely in the lurch with a small child they shared custody of. Our dog knew she was a slut long before we did! Incredible to think that a beast, no taller than a workman’s boot, can sense evil when it sees’s it. This was not a singular affair either, it was on many an occasion. One time we had to work hard to get rid of the problematic person but we eventually did it, long after my little Chihuahua had passed on. Yes, I have lost even more friends because my dog didn’t like a particular person and to this end it has always worked out for the best.
The final and most important part of having a Chihuahua is the love they offer in return for your companionship. You will have friends that will dessert you, your dumbass relatives will fight with you but no matter what you do to your poor little Chihuahua, they will never leave your side. You could be engulfed in flames or dying on a floor from a gunshot wound and your dog would defend you and sit there beside you. You could hit the dog with a rolled up newspaper and they would forgive you, almost instantly, because they know what loyalty means. Most people I have had the displeasure of spending time with, want something from me and aren’t interested in me or what I have to say. It’s not about companionship, loyalty or friendship with most people, it’s about what’s in it for them. With a Chihuahua they ask for your trust, love and companionship right to the very end of their short, meaningful little lives. Their eyes never betray you for an instant, they never really have a secret plan to steal your job, or go behind your back to take something from you because they love you, unconditionally.
They never ask you for money or take advantage of you, sure they might steal your pillow or your seat when you rise to grab a coffee or to go the toilet, sure they are cunning, but that’s part of their spirit and I like that. They don’t want to borrow or beg, unless of course ham is involved. They need us and we them and put simply that’s why the Chihuahua is a wonderful dog: they exemplify what a dog should be… a true companion.
[1] Now I should point out at this stage that the dog didn’t actually bite her, he was merely offering a warning by gumming her. Although on at least one occasion he made her bleed.