There is a saying: once bitten, twice shy. So what happens when you get bitten repeatedly by the same dog over and over again? There can be no doubt that you should avoid that dog because it turns on you too often. I had a dog like that once so I got rid of it. There is another dog that bit me more times than I can count. It’s the dog of the modern mainstream church.
Now before you start, I would like to say I am still a Christian and yes I do things that are considered so. Have a look at my about page (up and to the right!). I am happily involved in Christian based aid. So what’s the beef I have with church?
Why I won’t go to church anymore
My experiences with church go back a long way. However, the most recent event broke my heart. My oldest daughter had been going to a church group for a little over two years. Last Sunday I was hanging around just watching what she was doing. I noticed that none of the other children were talking to her. In fact they were ignoring her. She walked up to a few people and they just looked away. Now, I know that perhaps I shouldn’t be so sensitive. But, you would think after two years that kids would get to know other kids? The problem for her was that she was not attending the school attached to the church so she was outcast.
The funny thing is two minutes before that a person said to me, ‘are you new here?’ I had been going for two years. I would also like to add that went to groups and participated in events for some time. So why the stigma? I don’t know.
So what’s the big deal? A bunch of other kids won’t talk to my children. So what? Well this is the big deal. If you don’t fit into a church they exclude you. Don’t believe me? Go into your local “mainstream church” and carry a baby with no visible husband in sight. Tell me what happens. I will tell you a story of how they wouldn’t take a photo of my sister in law for their church ‘family wall’ due to the fact the she told them she was a single mother. They totally ignored her and nobody spoke to her for the duration so-called “welcome to our church” function. They realised she was a single mother and thought we don’t want that in here. They mustn’t think Jesus, would want his photo taken with a single mother. That’s disgusting!
When I left a church I was attending as an active member for over three years I was humilitated by the fact that they ignored me on the street. I had shared personal secrets with these people but because I wasn’t in the “clique” anymore I was excommunicated. I was invisible to them. Even though I made firm eye contact. These were people that I felt were my friends. Friendship for most church people does not extend past the building or the immediate circle of church goers.
Church is no longer about Christ it’s about empire building
Empires are what early Christians fled from because they were being killed by the dozens. Somewhere along the line the church decided to become the empire of ‘Christ’ and didn’t consult God about it. It’s one thing to assume you are the leader of a group but quite another to use your authority to make your own empire. Why do we have such big congregations that grow by the thousands when people like me and my sister in law are excluded? Ego? It’s so that an empire can be built in the name of God. I have no problem with people being successful and believe it or not no problem with large churches. Who am I to criticise what people want to do? Go for it. But, what about the fractured? What about the outcasts and excluded? Society already frowns on them… so why exclude them? For God’s sake read your bible. Jesus spent his whole time with hookers, tax agents and the working class of his day. I don’t think he was that offended by these people.
Church suits certain personality types
I am not an outgoing person by nature. I am introverted. I cringe at the sight of people attending parties and the like and I can imagine some of you do too. I am not the sort of person to engage in self-promotion or anything like that. It’s not in my nature to even want to be found. It’s the way I like it. I am not openly attracted to large groups neither am I the kind of person to be found at the centre of attention. Perhaps this is where I differ from the expectations of church goers. They want hugging, kisses, meet and greet and want to live in your pocket. I don’t want to see empires. I want to see a difference. The world has major problems and I am yet to attend a church that even makes a difference in it’s own community. That is not to say there isn’t one. I am sure there is. You just won’t see me there.
Challenging church mentalities on ‘tithing’
There is a lot of debate about giving in the church. Personally it’s your money, do what you want with it. If you wish to give it to a person to support them to teach you their version of the bible and build a great big building then that’s your choice. When my wife wrote a letter to the church asking them how we could afford to tithe when we couldn’t afford to pay our bills I was mystified by their response. In a fairly “nice” letter we were told we just have to be obedient. Ah, the works gospel in evidence again. How can one be obedient when the resources required to do so are absent? So I tell the bank, who is going to bankrupt me, that my tithe is due and I have to be obedient to God. No matter which way you look at this it’s manipulation of the worst kind. When you tell someone who is struggling, that they just have to obedient; or else they fall under a ‘curse’, you are missing the point. Oh and by the way I still don’t tithe even though I paid off most of my debts in one year through a miraculous chain of events. All things are possible to them who believe! I am giver but out of a cheerful heart not because the pastor told me so. And I am not bound to do so according to way I see ‘grace’.
I am speaking about the churches I have attended and I have to say that my case is my case. It’s not your case. You may get something tremendous out of church. They may not isolate you or make judgments from afar. They do to me. One morning I “woke up” when reading my bible. It said that you can’t put new wine into old wineskins. Why not? Because they will break. If you mix rules and regulations with Grace you don’t have a real Gospel you have a works minded flesh fest. You can’t make God do what you want then expect him to like it either. So why do we persist in religious routines? That is outside my understanding at this stage.
Over the past two years I have worked very hard to fit in. I tried to belong and even made an effort for my children’s sake to get them go along to church. I went to meetings, I attended home groups and yes I even went out the front several times. Evidently, it was all in vain. In my experience the modern mainstream churches are missing heart. And yes this is another post of mine on the heart. I will never stop being a Christian because of my life experiences but that doesn’t mean you will see me in a church anytime soon. I have had too many bad experiences to go near that dog again. Can I suggest if it bites you … run. It’s a real mongrel when it gets a hold of you.
This is another post of my on-going conversation about the heart.
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Great post, I really enjoyed it. I will have to bookmark this site for later.
My heart aches reading your story. I understand your pain and I’m a Pastor. I have to keep my focus where Jesus kept His. He loved us so much he risked His life for us. But, He kept His eyes on the love of the Father. Many times the church is not in the Church building. Obviously, you encountered people who missed what the relationship with Jesus is all about. Keep loving Jesus and living in the Father’s love. Connect with those who you can journey with and help them know the grace and love He has for them. Pray for the rest. Blessing to you and your family.
How about when you are bitten repeatedly, as in 7 miscarriages and an adoption that falls through at the last second.
No thanks, I’m done with god.
Great post. I was just trying to figure out why church made me so angry and why I was finally done with it.
You have hit all the major points.
They act like they have the answers – they don’t. They act like they care – they don’t. All show no go as they say.
I am going back to my own personal relationship with God. I am done trying to fit into an empire that never seems to accept me or my children.
Wow! I stumbled on this site while doing some research. My husband and I are currently serving as childrens’ pastors and we have a heart to see the true church of Jesus Christ rise up. It breaks my heart to see that the truth we experienced in our first venture at pastoring over 2 years ago rings true in so many others lives. We were bitten pretty bad as well. However God in His sovereignty placed us as servants in a group of other believers which resembles to me the true church. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been hurt by several people there already, but for some reason God has not allowed us to move but has given us a hunger to love them more. I hate religion as well, Jesus called us to relationship with Him to set us free from the bondage of rules, and how to’s. I would like to hear more on this subject from anyone who will talk to me. My husband and myself are preparing for the ministry God has for our lives and we don’t want to miss the mark. We love you, because Jesus loves you. And I am so sorry for what you have endured, I pray the you will continue running the race God has for you, keep speaking the truth because that is the key to living as an imitation of Christ. I can be contacted at noelleluvsjesus@yahoo.com if anyone reading this can offer information as I continue to search for the answers to this question…Why don’t people desire to be in church. Thanks
I recently quit going to church after attending for 22 years!
I have been treated horrible by so called Christians and treated decent by people who don’t announce their faith..I thought it was supposed to be a personal and intimate relationship with Christ? I had a horrible accident 13 yrs ago where there was negligence on a leaders part and because of this I stepped on a transparency on the stage during a worship rehearsal and broke my pelvis..I was excommunicated over this and cannot attend any church in my town because I have a reputation of being disabled before the accident..12 local pastors were contacted about my plight as I was bedridden for many years through surgeries, heavy narcotic dependence and I lost everything..my marraige of 24 yrs..my home,,respect and my dignity were all stripped away after this..before I was a popular gospel singer..interesting!
I now live alone on disability in what would be considered the ghetto in my town and I am at peace more right now than I have ever been in all the years I was going. I still love my God and always will..my rewards aren’t here,,they are over there with Jesus..I want my story to be told everywhere about how the church abandoned my family and threw us away over this here in Redding, CA…I welcome any emails at lilmskeys@yahoo.com
Hi Carole,
You are not alone. I am hearing more and more people coming out of the woodwork after years of silence talking about how mainstream gospel churches mistreat parishioners. Your story touched my heart. I might be in touch soon as I plan on writing down my experiences and others in a book of some sort.
Keep going Carole… your testimony speaks louder than words.
I found your article very interesting. Both your post and the subsequent responses show our human inadequacy in love for one another. Truly the church building is a place for sinners. It seems the church needs to address a pride of life that so easily creeps into our midst. But don’t you think it’s a little unfair to say because one small group of people acted unlovingly that this is representative of all Christians or all churches (I’m referring to talking about walking into any mainstream church as a single mother). Ironically as I think, most of the mothers in my church are single mothers. Although the failure of men in our society is a blog for a different day.
Perhaps your calling is to help the church act more humbly, more loving, and more holy and less pious. People don’t stop dealing with temptation once they walk through the doors of the church and prideful mistreatment of one another is just another result of our sinful nature. But on the flip side we are all made in God’s image so just as it was wrong for them write you off, the antithesis is also not the right answer(i.e. you leaving and writing them off). The right answer is blowing their minds with love in spite of their sin. This is what Christ exemplifies for us.
I’m just another mess Christ loves.
Thanks for your comment Jonathan. I think you may have a point because when I wrote this post it wasn’t my intention to hurt or offend any church goers. I was just sharing what had happened to me. Food for thought anyhow. For the record, I am not writing them off as such, I think that perhaps it just suits some more than others. Thanks Jonathan, you have given me something to think about
.
I have had some bad experiences with church.My first was at a lutheran church. I had taught sunday school and bible school for 5 years. One night I was waiting for my daughter to get out of choir practice. It was dark in the parking lot. A church member asked to wait with me. I said it was okay. He then proceeded to try to kiss me. I went to the pastor, because afterwards, I was horrified that this could happen at church. He said a little prayer about it. Months later, my marriage fell apart, and I got a divorce. Then the church seemed to shun me. I was asked not to teach Sunday school anymore, and not to take communion for a few times. This is when I needed my church and the church failed me. I left that church. I continued to make offerings to the Sunday school fund for years. My children continued to attend that church with their father. When my daughter was getting married, she wanted to have this pastor marry her. She was going to have a service in a beautiful park. The pastor backed out saying that wasn’t the house of God and refused to marry them.
I had always felt like I should be Catholic since I was a lttle girl. At the age of 38, I converted. I was happy for many years with my decision. I don’t go to confession very often, but a few weeks ago, I did. I was shocked when the priest kept telling me to hurry up. I was in tears and he was rushing me out of there. What a turnoff that was. I also went through the whole not attending church after the big uproar about priests molesting children. I would get teary eyed throughout the services. I know it happens in other religions, also, but the cover-up of these priests got to me.
I have tried some of the new-age churches, but get sick of a half hour of loud singing before the sermon. I tried a small church, but the members were all so old, I didn’t fit in and it was so boring. I keep promising God, that I will find a church again, but can’t seem to get into it.
I have come to the conclusion, that I am their for my chuch, but when I need them the most, they are not here for me.
Touching story Joyce. Thanks so much for your comment.
I lost my husband with colon cancer over a year ago after 25 years together . I started back to church and was very happy .There are only 7 people that goes there . 3 couple have been married from 38 years to 60 years . I live on a farm and can do allot of things myself . So Wednesday night May 13 th my husband and I would have been married 26 years . Having a good day thinking about him and the things we did together . I had some limbs fallen from trees and had waited for 3 weeks for someone to come out and cut them up so I could cut the grass . No one showed up . I started the chain saw myself and cut the limbs up . The preacher asked me what I did today . I told him I started the chain saw and cut some limbs up . So service was ready to begin . He said ” June, how do I say this ?” He mentioned the other 2 men’s names and said we like our woman to act like ladies . The 2 men turned around and laughed at me . Then added that the church needed cleaned and that the ladies would work INSIDE and the men work OUTSIDE .I wear dresses to church . I was very hurt . I left the church . After talking to another lady ( Friend that goes there ) I told her how hurt I was .Seems she is turning her back on my as well. Her former son in law ( his wife died ) has invited me and about 40 people to a dinner and fireworks . She didn’t tell the preacher all of it but did say he was really sorry he said those words to me . Yes, I have been kissed by a deacon who was married and 4 children at another church . Where I live when you are a widow it seems that people shun you . I am thankful that i can do the things I can do . I don’t feel that if I can drive a tractor or run a chain saw it makes me less of a lady . I thought the Bible talks of helping windows and children . Not the case here in the south . Hospice preacher asked once at a meeting ” How many friends ( couples ) did you have when you had a spouse and how many do you have now ?” Something to think about .
Dear June,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Here in Australia it’s not too much different at the best of times. But, my wife is the outdoors person in our family, gardens and mows the lawn! I used to have a problem with it then I sort of got over it, but yeah you run into those kinds of assumptions from time to time… especially in churches.
Thanks Luke for your comments .Yes, I am a out doors person as well. Out going as well. My husband and I worked together what ever needed to be done . Our world was not a man’s world or a woman’s world it was “our world” . We cooked together , did the washing together , cut grass together , he even helped me sew as I helped in the shop .
June
Dear June,
Your comments remind me of a friend of mine who studies gender in farming communities. From what she tells me, it’s a real partnership. I am sorry for your loss.
Luke
Yes, Luke, you have to work together in life or I have found it to be true.Like I said I always worked together with my husband . I have a guy helping me here sometimes on the farm . What ever I need done I am there with him .He cuts brush and I haul it away . He needs a tool I am there with it . He also works for other people as well. I am thankful for him and can trust him .Somethings I can’t do by myself .
Thanks again Luke
As a pastor of a quaker meeting, I truly hope you find a church with a family atmosphere that is both accepting and genuine. At our Meeting we try to meet the individual where they are, not where our culture encourages him/her to be. An unwed couple in our meeting recently had a baby. Some wondered if we should celebrate their new son with a baby shower. Not being married et al. There is no doubt, in my mind, we should praise God for their and our wonderful new gift. I am presently preparing a workshop entitled: I would go to church but… and I would like to share some of your concerns. Thank you for being honest and please note that church leaders do pay attention and learn from unfortunate stories like yours.
Tim , I think you did the right thing with the unwed couple . God Bless you .As ” The purpose driven life ” states that this was in God’s plans and NO ONE could have stopped it . God has plans for that child .
Tim,
I would love to hear that message you and preparing and good on you for deciding to do that. That is noble indeed. I agree with June about the baby, I think showing love where it’s usually taken about is a really good thing. June and Tim thanks for the comments here.
I really agree with everything you’ve said. Churches nowadays (not all, but many that I’ve encountered) are more focused on being a sorority or social gathering than being Christ-focused like they should be. I’m a Christian and I don’t go to church anymore mainly because of the people. They think that because they believe in God they’re on some sort of pedestal above everyone else. I’d hate to break it to those people, but really, they’re just on the same level as everyone else. If we’re all God’s children and He loves all of us equally, then no one is better and no is worse off. We’re all equal. So why do Christians think that they’re all of a sudden one step up?
And they tend to be some of the most judgmental people I know. What they say or think of an unwed mother with a child isn’t relevant. The only judgment that matters to her is going to be what God says on the day she dies and those who pointed the finger at her are going to be judged by God for that when they die.
And why do they have to act to hypocritical? They act like life is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong and all you hear is “God blessed me with this” and “I praise God for that.” It isn’t even HUMAN to be happy 24/7? I have yet to meet someone who has been happy every second of their life. Acting like you’re happy 100% of the time even when you’re not comes across as fake. Why can’t they show a little emotion? Be relatable to people? Be real! One of the reasons that people don’t like coming to church and talking to Christians is because they aren’t being relatable or real. Instead of claiming that God is always blessing them and praising God for everything, why can’t they admit that they aren’t perfect? Why can’t they say things like “Satan tempted me” and “I questioned God today?” THAT would make them more real. Even Jesus, God’s son, was tempted by Satan. Even Jesus questioned God when he was dying on the cross, “My God, My Father, why have You forsaken me?” If we can’t even admit that we’re tempted or admit that we don’t trust God every moment of every day then we’re saying that we’re better than Jesus, and he was the best of us! No one can compare to him and yet by saying these things and acting this way it’s like we are claiming that we are better than him.
Besides, nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to go to church. Hebrews 10:24 says “let us consider other first, to encourage each other in love and good works.” All that basically means is that we need to have some sort of Christian support system. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a church. It could be a small group of Christian friends meeting for coffee.
Sorry about the rant, but it’s always comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has problems with the church.
Hi Cass,
I feel your pain. I suffer from depression from time to time and often I don’t feel God has a lot to do with it. I get people telling me to fight it, create all kinds of methods of ‘casting it out’. But, all I ever want is someone to understand. There are times when I question God (like now for example, I am about to lose my job) so I wondering where God is. I am not comforted by the scriptures at all. At times I am left alone with no answers except the fact that I am going through something I can’t control and ultimately have no say in. I have no faith for those things … even though I know I should. 2 Corinthians 12 Paul talks about being weak and just last week I was talking with an ex-pastor about this. He said that Jesus never asked us to be strong, he asked us to be us. He covers our sins and holds our weaknesses. I think there is a need for people to be people and have problems. Instead of what we have now. My two cents.
What a great message you left. Thanks so much.
Hang in there Luke and Cass . I am thinking abut you guys .Keep us posted .I had a call from a friend this afternoon wanting me to come back to church .Said the preacher really is sorry for what he said to me 3 months ago .I asked her why did he say those awful things that hurt me so much .Preacher said the men of the church likes their wives to act like ladies . I am trying to keep the farm looking good .Guess I am still practicing as I am going to go help a neighbor lady mend a fence tomorrow . Guess that is not lady like .
Luke, I really appreciate your message. My family and I stopped going to church back in May (of this year), which was a very painful and difficult decision. We had attended for many years (for me it had been since my childhood). I am still hurt over it and but grateful for the real rest we get on Sundays now.
Thanks Nickie!
You are right about churches. I was heavily involved in Church and ministry for over 15 years. I was what you would call a real Christian. Meaning I did not go visit a sick friend and then go and announce it in church. I was involved in very umpopular ministries like the prison ministry and I taught bible study to homeless and drug addicts. I gave people a place to stay for free in my home when they needed help. I did not announce what I did in church I just did it because the bible says to not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing and to do good things in secret. I helped the church so much I gave my life. In the end no one from the church ever helped me when I needed it. Now I just don’t have the energy anymore when I see that all that the church is doing is using me. I helped the church, but the church did not help me. So I finally stopped going and guess what? “Friends” from the church continued to call me to find out why I am not helping them. Not to see if I was OK. They just did not care. And now I DON’T CARE anymore. I am in deep despair because I bet my whole life on the truth of the bible and now I realized that I was in fantasy land and I can’t get my life back. I think I am in the middle of an emotional breakdown.
It’s like being married your entire life to someone you love and you believe they love you, and at the end of your life you find out that he had a different family during your entire marriage. It was all a lie and you can’t go back to relive it again and make different choices. I really truely believe my relationship with God is unreconcilable. I am so heartbroken.
Dee Dee,
I think I can understand better than most how you feel. Except for me it was more like half or a quarter of the time that you spent in service so to speak. I am not sure I have an answer for disillusionment, if I did I would have posted it already. Some people who have posted here have mentioned that: It’s the people not the creator and so on. At this point in time I feel the exact same way you do. I feel like my relationship with God has been pushed passed the breaking point. Perhaps a better way of saying is that my relationship with ‘religious experience’ has been pushed to the breaking point. Maybe my concept of God was wrong to start with because I felt that if I gave something when I needed help it would be abundantly supplied? Whatever the case is, I know this: I have changed and I can’t change back even if all of those hopes and dreams where here I am not sure I could ever be who I was back then. I hope that makes sense! I wish I had the answer, I really do.
The biggest hurt of all is part of me wants desperately to believe in those things but the hurt and pain which you also feel (I suspect), drives me away from that into a place where all I have is pain. Who wants to stay there, I don’t so it’s natural to navigate away from God altogether into an uncomfortable abyss where you just don’t think about it. If you were as hardcore as I was, you know deep down that you can’t go back to that. Part of me died. The worst part for me is that I seem to have lost faith in God and I can’t get it back even though at times it makes perfect sense to me. I have somehow slipped into the middle ground between God and Athiesm without even trying. All because of so many hurts, deceptions and false beliefs dumped on me by church and my experiences there. In a sense I am fractured because of that. How does one recover from that? Do you or can you? I seriously doubt it! In your case and mine I would love to know.
The other thing that struck me was your length of service. That’s incredible to put so much of your energy into something for so long! I know a man who has done a similar thing and put an incredible amount of time into running an aid organisation on a wage that is worse than a bad joke. It’s people like you that give other people hope and support when they need it and that impresses me. Big ‘megachurches’ wouldn’t run if it wasn’t for the people who worship and support the big name pastors and I believe you understand this. As your case and about a million others I have seen prove, churches can literally drive people to emotional and physical burn out. I would love to say that I have never heard of this before but it’s SO common.
The worst part of it all is that at the end of the day we were just trying to be faithful to what we believed. The price for that is so high that it ends up costing your faith. Dee Dee, I hope that you have someone you can talk to for support, I was lucky to have my wife and a close friend who helped me through my emotional burn out.
Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for your reply Luke. That is great you have people in your life to help you through difficult times. Please make sure you keep them close because good friends and spouses are impossible to find. Unfortunately I have no one to depend on anymore, most of my friends were from my church. I pretty much stay to myself now. I declined a relationship with someone because I was a deeply devoted christian and he was definitely not. I lost that relationship because of my faith and now I no longer have my faith or that relationship. Pretty tragic isn’t it? Anyway those are the breaks and now I just have to deal with it.
It’s funny how God seemingly used me to help others, but he provides no help to me. It sort of proves that all those versus/promises whatever you want to call them are empty sayings that sounds really good but has no substance, you know what I mean? For example Luke 6:38, Micah 3:10, Matthew 6:1-8 and so many other examples. I just cannot believe what I am going through. I thought maybe I would have to deal more with being rediculed for my faith which I can understand and even losing a job or something because of my faith, but I never thought that I would have to deal with losing my church and support and my faith in the bible versus/promises. I have come to the conclusion that we really cannot understand what the versus mean we can just guess and hope we are right. You are right about I am now a different person too and can never go back to who I used to be.
Anyway I hope you find answers in a way that will satisfy you and your family and you can lead a productive life. I hope I can find that way too.
Hi Dee,
I think you can. I know exactly how you feel, especially about the bible promises. I read that and I can feel the heartache. All I can say at this time is that there is a life outside the church and so much more meaning that the four walls. That said, I am still finding my way… and it’s cost me a whole lot people I used to know.
Thanks Dee.
Hi Luke. It was simple to find your page on the internet. I just typed “I don’t like church” in the Google search engine and their were plenty of sources.
I would like to say a few things to encourage you and others here who have expressed similar concerns of losing faith in God, especially through trials. Be forewarned: I say what most people are afraid to say, thus my personal motto: “I’LL say it FOR you!”
Churchianity sucks. Jesus doesn’t.
I have only one LORD, and his name is YAHWEH, YESHUA, JESUS, EL SHADDAI, ADONAI, and so forth. I bow only to HIM, not some “middleman.”
Churchianity is all about a form of godliness, denying the truth thereof. New versions are corrupt. Hierarchy is not scriptural. Jesus never changed the Sabbath!
Denominations are only necessary in the area of FINANCE.
If I were to judge Christ by most professed “Christians”, I’d have him HUNG! God isn’t disgusting — PEOPLE ARE. (The heart of man is deceitful above all things and very wicked; who can know it?”)
The bible (the real one) is true no matter what; no matter if it seems to be or not, no matter if we like what it says or not, no matter if we agree with it or not, no matter if we understand it or not. God’s word is PURE.
As far as losing faith in God, I’ve been there, though not enough to stop yelling at him and cursing him. (Not recommended, BTW.)
I was comparing my “life” to other Christians’ “lives” instead of just seeking God. Well, as I’ve alluded to before, and now KNOW, they don’t really have lives I want! I complained to God one time about how a pastor who’d been preaching a few things incorrectly was so blessed with a family, a nice house, two nice cars, nice clothes, etc., etc., etc. I asked God, “Why can’t I have what they have?!” He asked, “Do you really want what they have?” The unasked question behind that was, “Do you want to have a lack of knowledge and revelation in certain areas as well as the house, cars, etc.?”
God has richly blessed me with faith, but I must say I have endured trials and persecutions I’d wish on few, never understanding WHY!!! this has happened to ME! In retrospect, and with the backup of scripture, I entered into fellowship with Christ’s sufferings (Paul wrote). In short, if you’re not facing anything, you’re not much threat to kingdom of darkness. Think about it…….
During the Cold War, did the US “take aim with missiles” toward CANADA? NO! Canada is not and has not been a THREAT! You only aim your weapons toward one who THREATENS YOU! Yeah, the trials and persecutions suck dead rats from the sewers of Saskatchewan, but it comes with the territory of a believer!
The fat comfortable, arrogant cats and kittens at “church” —IS THAT WHO OR HOW YOU WANT TO BE??!! DO YOU WANT WHAT THEY HAVE???!!! (Rhetorical question.)
I could go on forever (and God knows it) stopping only to sleep or eat. That’s why I’ve decided to be a writer. I’ve had plenty of books I’ve wanted to write for so many years, ALL inspired by the very things I detest! Certainly all things work together for our good. We just don’t see that until we’re on the other side of a trial. Anyway, Luke, and others of like mind, it will probably be a year or few before my books start hitting (if and when published), so I have a blog I haven’t contributed to for quite some time but there is plenty there if you’d like to read something from another person who doesn’t go to church.
In the meanwhile, know that God doesn’t give you any more than ye are able to bear, and if it seems like a lot it’s because GOD KNOWS YOU CAN TAKE IT WHERE ANOTHER WOULD NOT MAKE IT! (See entries 2 and 3 on my blogpage along these lines. ‘-)
http://www.toenquireiswise.blogspot.com
GOD IS LOVE AND HE SURE LOVES YOU! AND I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE! YAHU! (That’s Hebrew for ‘God is’)
love, love, love, love, love to you all.
Jan
Trials are inevitable, but it doesn’t hurt to ask for a brief respite!
Hi Luke,
I am also at a crossroads with “church.” I love god, love revelation, and haven’t been bitten too much by Christians. I’ve been going to my church for over 2 decades, and not only loved it but have found a wonderful community of friends here. But now it feels like I’ve seen behind the curtain and the wizard is just a man – not a bad man at all – just a man. And I don’t want the “obligation” of it anymore. So how do I take myself out of the congregation without ripping apart my place in the community? (Not that you need to answer that…just need to put it out in the cosmos!
Hi Jane,
I think you have described the problem well. The church puts people on pedestals which isn’t normal. Yet, instead of being normal, our pastors create the visage of perfection. I can’t work that part of it out but I can understand why they do it. I enjoyed the revelation part of it, and I miss parts of it. But, for me, I couldn’t get over the pretending… which is a bad thing to say so I had to leave. I still miss certain parts of the church experience given that I was in a Charismatic church and they are so vibrant but I can live with myself now if that makes sense.
Thanks for your comment,
Luke
I was profoundly touched by your story.. I too do not attend church for similar reasons. I have been disable for a number of years. I have undergone numerous back surgeries. Neither the pastor, elders or even people in church have visited me.. It’s interesting that when i did return to church, I would here from people that prayers were petitioned in my behalf.. Great! the bible does mention about visiting the sick, ect. that all these things are done unto him…
I have decided instead to watch online services and give to various ministries which actually help the poor, sick, ect..
I am looked upon as a “leper” in the church. It’s makes feel as if i am a second class citizen..
I also have suspicions that racism may play a part in some degree.
I pray, read the word enjoy fellowship with my wife instead..
I have difficulties socializing, there was a time many years ago i could not wait to go to a service, bible study, no more!
I blame the “cliques” of the church. These are people who think their poop don’t smell…
I actually told one the associates pastors over the phone that this church is run by “yes” men.. suck ups! people who try their best to curry favor with the pastor and his family…
It’s amazing how the techniques of the world work within the church too..
Hi Michael,
Those techniques do work in the world as well as they do in many other circles. I think we need to find our way in whatever way we can. Thanks for your comment Michael.
Luke