Ditching Friends: How to know when it’s time to tell your friends to beat it

There is a saying from the bible, ‘Iron sharpens iron.’ What happens though when friends are holding you back? People often build perceptions of you that are based on previous experiences of what you are like. Such perceptions are sometimes impossible to shift because people build ideas about who you are and what you represent to them. If you are growing you don’t need that kind of box to live in. There is really one thing to do… ditch your friends.

You don’t need to be held back

If people are holding you back you need to slowly build your life in such a way that you move away from them a bit at a time. Sure, having friends is cool but not if they stop you from growing. It’s not always good to have people in your life just because of history. Neither is it helpful if you are growing and they are not. You need to work on a strategy to remove them from your life. You are no longer helping yourself you are just acting like a prostitute for attention. Move away if you have to.  If they are dragging you back or not helping then it’s time to move on.

How to do it

The key thing is that you don’t really want to hurt someone’s feelings by saying, ‘Yo numbnuts… beat it.’  The best approach is to be honest but gentle.  If they get upset and want to know why let them know.  Honesty is always the best way to deal with these things.  If it’s not appropriate to say things directly or you don’t think it’s helpful then I recommend the following three things:

1. Don’t hang around them anymore: Make plans to do other things and stop calling them.

2. Don’t return their calls: If they ring and ask what’s going on tell them.  But, if you stop making plans to hang around them you have to be ready with a defense of why.  I have found by not talking to people you can often break relationships because the feeling was mutual.  In situations where this doesn’t work… A Dr. Phil style approach is needed.

3. Relay the information through a third party: This is the most effective strategy I know of.  Find someone who you know will tell them (prefacing your statements with ,’now don’t tell them this…’) .  I have used this many times when direct contact wasn’t possible.

Whatever you do you must realise that all people are not your friends.  Some people need the boot because they are soul stealer’s.  They will use you or make fun of you to make themselves feel superior.  Don’t put up with it… get rid of them.

Powered by MightyAdsense

Subscribe to lukehoughton.com